Further to yesterday

Posted in Old blogger by Twenty Major on December 22nd, 2005

Here’s what we know.

1 - A person turned up at this blogger meeting and pretended to be me. According to one of the atendees this fake Twenty “He talked about Christmas plans, reasons for anonymity (his job) and general blog bitching. That kind of thing.”

2 - I, the real Twenty Major, was not there.

So what this means is that there’s a fucking spanner of a mentalist out there pretending to be me and as the most perceptive of you will have gathered I’m not even really me.

I have to say I am dreadfully worried. After being described on various blogs as ‘A nice guy’, ‘a thoroughly nice chap’, ‘well behaved’ and ‘a sweetie’, I am concerned that this person is going to further sully my reputation.

What if they adopt a Romanian AIDS baby in my name and show everyone what a caring, good-hearted soul I am? What if they make substantial donations to traveller’s rights organizations? What, in the name of the good sweet jumping Jesus on the cross, if they go into HMV and wearing a t-shirt which says “I am Twenty Major! No, really, I am!!” and they loudly buy many Damien Rice and Phil Collins CDs, announcing to anyone who will listen that ‘I, the real Twenty Major and not the unbalanced loony of an impostor, really love Damien Rice and Phil Collins’?

How is a man supposed to live with that shame? Maybe it’s time to call it a day…