People who don’t do what they’re told

Posted in Old blogger by Twenty Major on November 29th, 2005

I’m sure all of you have experience of this. Whether it’s a child who will not pick up the clothes off their bedroom floor or a stubborn twat who will not do things the way you want them to be done it’s a frustrating thing.

The worst though is someone who is too stupid to understand that when you say ‘John, please do not do that again. If faced with that situation again do this’ and then you explain what ‘this’ is in really easy steps. In fact, you might go so far as to make a document with step by step instructions for them to consult should they ever have any doubts. Then when faced with that situation again they go and do their own thing, wilfully ignorning your precise instructions despite their promises to do what you said when you last spoke to them about it.

People who do this need to be killed. There is absolutely no hope of rehabilitation because they’re so stupid they think they’re clever and capable and are using their initiative when in fact they are disobeying direct instructions which if they were as clever as they thought they were they’d simply carry out without any kerfuffle at all.

So John does this thing yet again and you say to him “Listen John, you fucking moron, when I tell you to do something in a particular way I expect you do it that way. I don’t expect you to do it your own way especially when even a thick cunt like you can see that the outcome of doing it your way can only mean that your way of doing it is shit. My way, the way I asked you to do it, is not shit. Now John, I spent some of my precious time writing a document for you in case my verbal explanation, which a mongo licking the window of the special bus on his way to the work in the community project would have understood, was too complex for that shrivelled sack of piss that passes for your brain. But still you chose to ignore that document and went ahead and did it differently.

I know that you understand English, John, because you’re very fucking quick to cop on when you need something so I am at a loss to understand why you did it again when I asked you not to do it that way. Perhaps some people might say you suffer from a condition like ADD or Selective Comprehension. I’d say those people are cunts. What you suffer from, John, is not enough pain when you do something wrong. I am telling you now, and I want you to look at me when I say this you sniveling little shitepipe, if you ever, ever, ever choose your way over my way again I am going to punch you as hard as I can in the face. Do you understand. I will say it again:

I. AM. GOING. TO. PUNCH. YOU. AS. HARD. AS. I. CAN. IN. THE. FACE.

Is that clear? Just nod if it is. I’m sure even the motion of moving your head up and down is not beyond a cretinous chump like you. You’re nodding. Good, John. That’s very good. Now don’t forget what I said.”

Yesterday I punched John as I hard as I could in the face. And he was actually surprised.

Some people are too fucking stupid for words.