Monthly Archives: November 2005
The war on terror
The war on terror is going badly. People are being blown up every day, there is fear throughout the world and everyone knows it’s all the fault of Muslims who started this whole thing when they invented fundamentalism and beards. … Continue reading
People who don’t do what they’re told
I’m sure all of you have experience of this. Whether it’s a child who will not pick up the clothes off their bedroom floor or a stubborn twat who will not do things the way you want them to be … Continue reading
Emergency services
*bring bring* “Hello, 999. What is your emergency?” “Good evening. I would like to book a fire brigade for tomorrow evening, please.” “What?” “I said I would like to book a fire brigade for tomorrow evening.” “Erm…that’s not possible. This … Continue reading
George Best died
So George Best died. In entirely unrelated news 18 vineyards in France have announced their immediate closure.
It’s not a fair fight
“Twenty”, said Stinking Pete, “Who do you think would win in a fight between Godzilla and Enya?” “Enya”, I said. “No question about it.” “Do you really think so? You’d have to admit that Godzilla certainly has an advantage in … Continue reading
Wine
I like wine. I don’t like whine. That is all. Update: It has been brought to my attention that certain Chardonnay drinkers feel this post to be lame which only goes to prove my point as I like Chardonnay but … Continue reading
Tagging
No, I don’t mean those things put at the end of their blogs so search engines can more easily find relevant information. I mean electronic tagging of criminals which is one of the measures set to be put in place … Continue reading
An Italian trick
Dirty Dave’s sworn enemy came into Ron’s for a pint last night. Pristine Pascal and Dave used to be great mates when they were kids but their very natures drove them apart. While Dave is a mangy, malorodous minger Pascal … Continue reading
Films
I’m not much a film buff to be honest. Most of them are utter, utter shite but it is a massive industry and some people do take it all very seriously. Actors talk about themselves as ‘artists’ when in reality … Continue reading
Blogs are more popular than Jesus
John Lennon was once called all sorts of names for suggesting that the Beatles were more popular than Jesus but my blog is certainly more popular than Jesus and miles fucking better than those Liverpudlian cunts who just can’t stand … Continue reading
John Lennon was once called all sorts of names for suggesting that the Beatles were more popular than Jesus but my blog is certainly more popular than Jesus and miles fucking better than those Liverpudlian cunts who just can’t stand the pace, can they? 2 down, 2 to go.
Yesterday more than 650 people visited Twenty Major. Despite having not been to mass for a long, long time I can’t imagine there were too many churches with that many people in them for the 11 o’clock mass last Sunday. Not unless they’ve started having the readings done by topless models and I don’t think they have.
Maybe the Church need to focus its energy on new ways of communicating with its flock.
Friday, November 18, 2005
FRESH MEATSaying evening mass last night. There was a new altar boy. Could NOT take my eyes of his arse. Man, good job the pulpit was in the way. Looked like someone was trying to put up a tent in my vestments.
The Bishop rang earlier said he has to talk to me about something. ‘Child a goose’ I think he said. No idea what he’s on about, the doddery old queen
Tomorrow’s my visit to the local orphanage to spread the
seedword of God. Full details tomorrow!posted by Father Dick @ 11:41 AM
Perhaps it’s not such a good idea after all.
What is a good idea though is if you buy a book. Books are good and books which feature me are especially good. Tim Worstall has put together a collection of the best blog posts of 2005 – 2005 Blogged – and despite his shameless begging I only let him use one of mine. I’m not telling you which one though. I am waiting for my copy to drop through my letterbox any day now.
If you haven’t already had it on pre-order with Amazon buy a copy now and a small percentage of the profits from each book will go to a foundation struggling to find a cure for Phil Collins. You have a responsibility to mankind to help so buy the book.