It’s amazing

Posted in Old blogger by Twenty Major on October 29th, 2005

I had rather a hard weekend last weekend which meant all day Monday I spent clutching my stomach until I got home. If I can avoid pooing in public places, espeically work, I will do so.

Anyway, when I got home I crapped for about 20 minutes non-stop. No joke. My ringpiece was hotter than the sun covered in petrol and thrown into the middle of a volcano. You could have stuck me arse first on the top of a tall building and the glow would have warned planes away. Not a pleasant experience, I have to say, and I’ve been through a lot in my lifetime.

Tuesday I didn’t need to go at all and ever since whenever I poo there is nothing on the toilet paper when I wipe afterwards. Not a single mark. Nothing. I must be pooing perfect poo crystals or something. Monday’s mega-plop must have been like some kind of enema/colonic irrigation (without the gay bit of somebody putting a tube up your hoop).

If I could remember what combination of booze and food did it I’d market it and make millions. Naturally the bog roll companies would be after me but fuck those double-ply cunts.

Has anyone else ever experienced a period of non-staining pooing? To me the whole thing is fascinating.