Twenty’s first birthday
Posted in Old blogger by Twenty Major on September 29th, 2005
That’s right, this blog is 1 year old today.
What larks it’s been. From no people reading to some people reading. From no comments to some comments. Mentions in the newspapers, RTE radio and even the BBC. So how to commemorate this momentous occasion?
A Best Of Twenty type thing, taking snippets of past posts?
How about some type of quote thing where people talk about how much they like Twenty Major, e.g “I know he says I’m a boring, acoustic cunt but the first thing I do every morning is read Twenty’s blog. Even before I write more lyrics a 15 year old goth wouldn’t put in their poems” - Damien Rice.
I could have had a Swearathon®© and raised money for starving, Romanian, traveller, tsunami victim orphans every time I said the word ‘cunt’ but chances are enough might have been raised to save at least one of them and I don’t want that.
Then I remembered how my teachers in my hedge school all those years ago used to say how autistic I was. I’m sure they meant I was skilled with a pencil and paper in a van Gogh style though. So I put together a self-portrait to celebrate the first anniversary of the blog. I expect I’ll be fighting off the Louvre and the National Gallery will be replacing all the Jack Yeats stuff with copy after copy of this masterpiece.
Enjoy the art and thanks to all you cunts* for reading and coming back to read more. Cheers.
* One use of cunt is not enough to save one of those feckless little bastards either.
jenE says:
Happy Blogday to you!
Happy Blogday to you!
Happy Blogday Twenty Major (fucking cunt)
Happy Blogday to you (you old shit)!
Love always,
The Fawning, Toadying Sycophant jenE
September 28th, 2005 at 11:59 pm
United Irelander says:
Happy Blogday.
George Best says he’ll buy you a drink. ;)
September 29th, 2005 at 12:18 am
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nanuk says:
Surely someone could organize a night of drunken debauchery in some smoke-filled, poorly-lit chatroom somewheres. Any takers?
Just name the time and the URL and I’ll bring the Laphroaig.
September 29th, 2005 at 12:18 am
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Anonymous says:
Aye! Happy birthday ya auld cunt. Throw bastard face a virtual bone. By the way… I’m sure i saw you in greenock town centre yesterday. Been over in west coast Scotland recently?
See ya
PAKORA JOE
September 29th, 2005 at 1:28 am
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Bane says:
Yawn. Call me when yer still beein brillllliant after three years, ya whelp.
September 29th, 2005 at 1:56 am
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Andraste says:
Excellent year Twenty! Many more to come, we hope.
jene, don’t pay any attention to Muff Diver. He’s always trolling for a fight.
September 29th, 2005 at 2:27 am
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Miss Favs says:
happy blogday!
go out and drink for me too!
hope you keep writing for years and years…
September 29th, 2005 at 4:10 am
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Anonymous says:
Hey Twenty! Happy birthday ya auld scut. By the way, when ya shit, pull your cuntin’ pants down.
Fucknuts.
September 29th, 2005 at 5:43 am
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MacDara says:
Ah Twenty happy Birthday from the Leb. I’ll put all the drinks for free over at the pub due to the fact your not worth spending money on so i’m sure nobody will buy you one.
http://spaces.msn.com/members/MacDara/Blog/cns!1pYQ0OrOnuvguWT1DiWAVzHA!181.entry
September 29th, 2005 at 6:54 am
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fatmammycat says:
Happy Brithday Twenty, no doubt you’ll be in Ron’s Bar tonight, having a glassing and plotting someone’s terrible demise. Enjoy.
September 29th, 2005 at 7:56 am
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rod andrews says:
Happy BlogDay to The Blog Miser, you sound somewhat older than a year to me, but what the fuck do I know? nuffin that’s what.
Neddy
September 29th, 2005 at 8:54 am
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asbo says:
Hope you had a miserable yet
productive birthday,Twenty,but why
the portrait of Christy Brown?
September 29th, 2005 at 9:50 am
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Nosmo King says:
Keep it up Twenty…
It it the most enjoyable part of my day when I get an insight into your thoughts. My US workmates dont get it but they dont get much anyway…
NOSMO…
September 29th, 2005 at 2:14 pm
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Anonymous says:
Attention seeking cunt.
Johnny5
September 29th, 2005 at 2:48 pm
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muff diver says:
Thems fightin’ words, Andraste, they is!
JenE knows I’m just trying to give her the education that I didn’t have.
September 29th, 2005 at 3:00 pm
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jenE says:
Thanks, Andraste, for having my back, but I can fend off that puny little cock su- I mean muff diver all by myself.
Remember in grade school how the boys always picked on the girls they liked?
September 29th, 2005 at 4:26 pm
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fatmammycat says:
Synthetic polo necks, that’s what I remember from primary school. That and cordury dungarees, pudding bowl haircuts and Clarks shoes that were indestructable, even when you used them as brakes for your bike.
Bastard things.
September 29th, 2005 at 4:40 pm
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Twenty Major says:
I always thought Muff Diver was a woman (albeit a fan of kd lang and Melissa Etheridge).
September 29th, 2005 at 4:44 pm
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Sexybeauty says:
In yer wet dreams, twenty!
September 29th, 2005 at 5:06 pm
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muff diver says:
” puny little cock “
I like to think of it as a pretty big clitoris!
Don’t realy care for that K.D. Lang diesel dyke though. Now Ellen or Martina (when she was young), they generate the “seat wetting”
September 29th, 2005 at 5:16 pm
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jenE says:
muff diver is a chick?!?
Boy was I waaaaaaaay off.
LMAO!
September 29th, 2005 at 6:04 pm
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Muff diver says:
Platonic friends then JenE?
September 29th, 2005 at 6:17 pm
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jenE says:
yeah, that’s cool, muff, although my boyfriend would looooove it if we hooked up.
why is it that all men like lesbianism? you’d think they’d be jealous when they aren’t needed!
September 29th, 2005 at 8:19 pm
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Andraste says:
Muff Diver’s a female? Holy shit. My world just turned upside down. But wait, what about that comment about your “Frat days,” then?
I think you’re having us all on, Muff. Which is it?
September 29th, 2005 at 10:00 pm
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Bane says:
He’s a trannie.
September 30th, 2005 at 1:16 am
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