I saw a ghost
Posted in Old blogger by Twenty Major on September 28th, 2005
My house is old, Victorian in fact, and sometimes I hear things I know aren’t the normal creaks of the house moving around or the pipes expanding with the heating. I’d never, ever seen anything till last night though.
I got up to have a slash, as a man of my advancing years is wont to do, and to get to the bathroom I have to go into the hall, through the kitchen and out the back. Not the back garden, the back of the house, smart fuckers.
Anyway, I had my jimmy riddle and plodded back through the back hall and through the kitchen. For some reason as I was closing the kitchen door I looked back and that’s when I saw the ghost. It was silhouetted in the kitchen window which looks out onto the back garden where I didn’t have a wee.
I’m pretty sure it was a man because it was tall. It was either a man or Geena Davis. It didn’t move. I didn’t move. I blinked my eyes and it was still there. I wasn’t scared, there was no sense of menace or badness but I have to admit I felt a bit of a chill go down my spine.
I backed out into the hall, closed the kitchen door and kind of scuttled back to bed. Then I went back to sleep. When I woke up this morning I didn’t remember at first but when I was having my coffee it came back to me all of a sudden.
Do I need to call Ghostbusters or is this thing just going to leave me in peace? Will I have Amityville style dripping walls or is this presence in my house here to tell me something before it can go in peace to wherever it’s supposed to go (Cabra probably)?
A ghost in my house. Interesting.
Torq says:
Are you serious?
September 27th, 2005 at 11:36 pm
Jaffrey says:
That is truly fucked up. Maybe a pint too many the night before?
September 27th, 2005 at 11:39 pm
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Twenty Major says:
Really 100% serious and I hadn’t had a pint at all. A wee nip before bed but nothing more than that.
September 27th, 2005 at 11:40 pm
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Jaffrey says:
I believe you. Really. You know, I’m suprised that Bastard Face didn’t have a fit. If he’s such a guardian, you think he’d have shit himself silly or something.
September 28th, 2005 at 12:32 am
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Twenty Major says:
He was in the back garden…
September 28th, 2005 at 12:36 am
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Andraste says:
Oooh, you could have a ghost there, TM. Or it could be an old hangover, come home to roost.
September 28th, 2005 at 1:12 am
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Anonymous says:
Ghosts can be scary. My old apartment had 2 (1 male, 1 female). They used to talk to my roommates and myself. Also, we weren’t the only ones to see/ hear them. They were not shy spirits, that’s for sure, but they never tried anything spooky. Just being present was enough.
-jenE
September 28th, 2005 at 1:53 am
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Bane says:
Piss on them. They hate that.
September 28th, 2005 at 6:26 am
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maca says:
Are ya sure it wasn’t the bird from The Ring? She’s taller in real life that in the film ya know. She was hanging round our gaff for a few weeks till I told her to fuck off. Creepy bitch. Wrecked our carpet she did, dripping stale well-water all over the place. Cunt.
September 28th, 2005 at 7:49 am
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Antonio from Italy says:
Place a booth in your garden a make money by charging people to enter and see it ;-)
September 28th, 2005 at 8:10 am
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MacDara_In_The_Leb says:
Twenty did you go to mass or confession yesterday. Maybe this is the new clean twenty and the face in the window was the old bad mouthing twenty trying to get in. I hope he does.
September 28th, 2005 at 8:24 am
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Dylan says:
Twenty,
No need to worry, it mi ha bin that lanky Jahova witness, that has been hangin arouind the back o peoples gaffs. I read abou it in de paper. He is lookin for knickers and bra’s on clothes lines.
He is a “CROSS” dresser !!!!
LOL
Dylan
September 28th, 2005 at 8:27 am
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Anonymous says:
was it a starbucks coffee, was it? was it?
September 28th, 2005 at 8:46 am
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nanuk says:
So some ectoplasm oozed out from the walls, eh? More likely it was an undigested bit of beef, a blot of mustard, a crumb of cheese, a fragment of an underdone potato.
Bah humbug!
September 28th, 2005 at 9:53 am
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Zombie says:
good
September 28th, 2005 at 10:36 am
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Scaryduck says:
I bet it WAS Geena Davis. Coming round in her peek-a-boo underwear to apologise for those Stuart Little movies and to ask if she “can borrow a cup of sugar, please”.
You blew it, Twenty. Blew it.
September 28th, 2005 at 12:33 pm
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asbo says:
What a fright the poor oul ghost
must have received.Imagine bumping
into a bollick naked Twenty(were you?)in the middle of the night.I
think thats the last you’ll see of him/her.A perfect exorcism.
September 28th, 2005 at 1:21 pm
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Anonymous says:
Never knew whether to believe in them or not.
Then my mother phoned me.
Six months after she died.
I really could have done without that.
September 28th, 2005 at 2:52 pm
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Nosmo King says:
Twenty, did you check to see if your lawnmower was missing , it could have been some knacker trying to deprive you of your worldly possessions and he froze at the sight of you doing your thing as they say.
Just imagine what he is telling his mates back at knackeragua…..
September 28th, 2005 at 3:06 pm
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Tommy says:
Call ‘Most Haunted’, they’ll sort it out for ya, the cunts. I hope if I ever see a ghost I’m in the jacxs, cause I’d shit meself.
September 28th, 2005 at 7:13 pm
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muff diver says:
It was your doppelganger, ya cunt.
Probably waiting for his turn to slash.
“plodded and scuttled” Do alot of that in your house?
September 28th, 2005 at 8:48 pm
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Larry Teabag says:
I’ve had quite a lot of experience of ghosts over the years, and in my view you’ve got a nasty one.
Ghosts can choose their own forms, and when, where, and to whom they reveal themselves. The fact that it first showed itself while you were going for a piss in the middle of the night is extremely worrying.
Almost certainly the man who the ghost once was was savagely murdered in what’s now your house, and is now restlessly wandering the night angrily desiring of justice.
By urinating in its presence, you’ve brought yourself no end of trouble. To be honest you might as well have shat on its grave.
I’d now expect it to turn all transplant all the hate and agression that it held for its murderer firmly onto you. I suspect you’ll be subjected to terrifying violent hallucinations until you either die of fear, or hold an exorcism and then burn the house to the ground and move to South America. But even that probably won’t buy you much solace, so, in my expert opinion, topping yourself is probably your only remaining chance for peace.
Good luck, - Larry
October 4th, 2005 at 5:34 pm
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Green Glass Beads says:
Talk to it. That´s what I did. I told my ghost it scared the shite out of me, and sorry but did it mind returning in a week when I learned to deal with it (I added something about that I meant no harm of course in case it flung me out the window).
October 16th, 2005 at 6:27 am
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Anonymous says:
Are you sure it wasn’t a prowler?
Maybe you should put some dirt around the area and see if you see in human footprints there in the morning.
November 12th, 2006 at 11:36 am
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