Shut it you mouthy cunt
Posted in Old blogger by Twenty Major on September 27th, 2005
Playing football. We’re defending. Pacy forward gets the ball. He’s running at me. He fakes left, goes right. I turn, stick out my left hip. He thwacks into it, tumbles to the ground. Play goes on.
“FUCKING HELL, REF! WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?”
“Get up, cunt.”
“I’LL FUCKING SHOW YOU ‘GET UP’!”
“Show me then, loudmouth cunt.”
Later. It’s out on our left. Their winger cuts inside our full back. Whips in a great cross. Pacy forward’s eyes light up. It’s coming right at him. He cranes his neck. I steam in, eyes on the ball. Mostly. I launch myself at it, head it clear. Somehow my knee ends up in his back.
“FUCKING HELL, REF!” he says with a mouthful of grass.
“Stop chewing the cud, cow cunt.”
“COME HERE AND FUCKING SAY THAT YOU WANKER!”
“I’m right here, unable to judge distances cunt.”
Even later. They launch it forward. He takes it. Plays a 1-2 with the tall target man. Our other central defender is lost. He’s going clear on goal. I steam in. Take ball and man. He tries to hurdle the keeper, continues stumble-running, arms flailing, trying to keep his balance. He nearly gets himself together. Nearly. His head hits the post. There’s a clang of bone on metal.
“FUCKING HELL, REF!” he bleeds. “WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?”
“Stop spilling on the pitch, inconsiderate cunt.”
“Eh? Where am I?”
“Playing football, stupid cunt.”
“Eh? What day is it? What’s my name? Where do I live?”
“Haha, amnesiac cunt.”
He never did remember his name. I call him “Mr Cunt”.
BULLSEYE says:
Eight references to the word “cunt”, not including the title of the post. Clearly my friend, I would think you could do better than that, say at least a dozen or so?
September 26th, 2005 at 11:45 pm
Miss Favs says:
hahahaha.
i loved it. ;)
September 27th, 2005 at 12:38 am
1
Zombie says:
good
September 27th, 2005 at 3:36 am
2
MacDara In The Leb says:
Twenty you brighten up the morning in this haven of terrorist activity they call Lebanon.
September 27th, 2005 at 9:00 am
3
Anonymous says:
Are you *sure* you should be playing football at your age, Twenty?
September 27th, 2005 at 9:21 am
4
Whatthefuck says:
Jaysus! Someone directed me to this site promising great hilarity hilarious. And all I find is some bozo who uses the word cunt a lot and thinks its hilarious. Flann O’Brien you certainly are not. As to your Daily Mail rant, you’re right it is a dreadful paper but why anyone should care what you think is beyon me you pompous pillock.
September 27th, 2005 at 12:36 pm
5
Anonymous says:
Personally, I couldn’t give a fuck what Twenty thinks as he’s wrong quite a lot the cunt. I come for the swearing. Especially when Noreen’s got the painters in.
September 27th, 2005 at 1:39 pm
6
Johnny5 says:
Your blatant lies are impressing nobody, TM.
Go fuck yourself
September 27th, 2005 at 1:57 pm
7
Dr Maroon says:
Fuck me gently! The lengths The Mail will go to. That cunt Whatthefuck should stick to writing the motoring page the cunt. You’ve touched a nerve, Twenty old boy.
September 27th, 2005 at 2:08 pm
8
Colm says:
Do you play at the Nou Camp by any chance Twenty? Random comment.
September 27th, 2005 at 5:23 pm
9
Twenty Major says:
Only in my dreams, Colm. Random answer.
September 27th, 2005 at 5:28 pm
10
Twenty Major says:
Jaysus! Someone directed me to this site promising great hilarity hilarious.
They should have directed you to an English class.
September 27th, 2005 at 5:30 pm
11
Bane says:
Ahhhhh! Fuck the English as well, the cunts!
September 27th, 2005 at 6:59 pm
12
Alex says:
“english cunt”
Fuck off you fucking douche scum bag
March 15th, 2006 at 10:57 am
13
Anonymous says:
fucking sweet bitch. The poor fucker doesn’t even know his name anymore.
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