Cloning
Posted in Old blogger by Twenty Major on September 12th, 2005
As an old fart I am greatly opposed to change and lots of other things, like teenagers, ringtones and Romanians. However, I do think cloning is a good idea and I’m all for stem cell research.
That’s because I think the world could benefit from having a team of Twenty Majors.
“Veinte mayor” in Spain and South America.
“Venti maggiori” in Italy.
“Major Zwanzig” in Germania.
“Vinte major” in Brazil and Portugal.
“20 専攻学生” in Japanese
“clack sprang flurp” in Congolese.
And so on. Obviously the first couple of efforts would be problematic and may not work properly. Twenty Major 1.01beta and Twenty Major 1.5 release 12.45.98.a. might putter along for a while then their beards may fail or they may forget to drink the necessary beer but soon there would be a team of perfect Twenties in every country ready to make things better with my wisdom and sagacity.
Once those Twenties got into the hearts and minds of the respective local populations I could then fiddle with the old gene pool thingy and make Mega-Twenties with which I could implement my changes. These 18′6″ handsome devils would be bullet proof and could shoot lesbian hornets from their arses with frightening regularity.
Once Twentyism had been put in place on every continent then in general it would become a much safer, albeit slightly drunker, world. The Mega-Twenties could solve famine by distributing the EU food mountains and grinding up non-desirables into the cheap but effective meat.
So when you think about the wars, the famines, the strife, the terrors that we face on a daily basis doesn’t it make sense to explore the benefits of cloning and how cloning Twenty could change the world for the better?
Send your stem cells today to PO Box 6969, Dublin. I’ll send you a free juicer for each kilo you send.
fatmammycat says:
Mega-Twenties? Twentyism? Is Tom Crusie behind this? Do you recall talking to a very short, big nosed weirdo on the weekend, oh beardy one? He may have been attached to a tall gawky looking bird who says ‘amazing’ a lot. I’m worried.
September 12th, 2005 at 8:15 am
asbo says:
What a load of bollocks,besides which I think there are enough
Social Phsychopaths(I’ve discovered
thats what I am)like us about already.Any in a perfect world we
would have nothing to moan about.
September 12th, 2005 at 12:32 pm
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jenE says:
twenty, you should buy an island in the south pacific, then invite me (and other such ‘amazing’ folks)to live there. we can roam about freely in the nude and you can let your beard grow to your knees and it’ll be our own little utopia filled with cloning and drinking.
ah, what a life.
September 12th, 2005 at 2:05 pm
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muff diver says:
I think the lovely jenE is smitten with you Twenty.
Be afraid, be very afraid!
September 12th, 2005 at 3:08 pm
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Elenamary says:
There are too many twenty-major’s as it is with just one. Let’s leave it at that.
September 12th, 2005 at 6:07 pm
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Bane says:
I cloned one just now…oopsy, forgot to flush, be right back…
September 12th, 2005 at 8:05 pm
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Bane says:
Elemammary, you have fine jubblies, could you make them jiggle a bit? There’s my girl.
September 12th, 2005 at 8:07 pm
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Dr. E. Scientist, phD. says:
Brilliant! Make one dim Twenty Major version to do prison time for you, and another dimmer one to do highly visible charity work.
That way, you’ve always got an alibi, a cell warmer in case the alibi doesn’t work, and two spare livers in case you disolve yours with whiskey.
September 12th, 2005 at 9:39 pm
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jenE says:
muff, i draw the line at the age of methusela…
…or maybe thirty-five.
September 12th, 2005 at 9:58 pm
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Sinéad says:
Believe it or not, 20, I’ve had stem cells removed and stored in a big SMEG fridge in James’ hospital.
At the time (it’s a weird process that makes your teeth chatter and you feel freezing), I made some joke to the nurse about cloning myself and my intentions of world domination but she find it funny. Studying science-y stuff does awful things to a person’s sense of humour.
September 19th, 2005 at 6:02 pm
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