Que sera, sera…
Posted in Old blogger by Twenty Major on September 1st, 2005
…whatever will be, will be. I’m going to Italy, que sera, sera.
Yes, I know I told you I wasn’t allowed back after my last trip there but needs must. Lucky Luciano needs some help in his home town and he asked me and Jimmy to come along and give him a hand.
Turns out Lucky’s wife’s ex-boyfriend has been ringing her up at all times of the night, sending her text messages and telling her he’s going to come to Ireland to steal her away from our new chum. For those of you who don’t know Lucky is a compassionate assassin. He only kills people who really deserve it.
This cunt really deserves it.
I told Lucky that I had some history with Italy and might not be able to get into the country on my passport. He made a phonecall, told me to get some pictures done and within 24 hours I had an Italian passport all of my own. Apparently I was born in Treviso and my new name is Giuseppe Bocchino. If the customs ask me anything Lucky is going to tell them I’m a deaf mute which is probably a good idea as me spouting “Pizza! Mafia! Mortadella! Fatti i cazzi tuoi!!” is not going to get us very far.
So, we’re off today. Flying to Milan and then onwards to Lucky’s hometown of Livorno. I might even go for a swim.
I know Mrs Lucky’s ex will be.
See you in a few days.
A Cow in Willesden says:
If I were you I’d jump ship at Heathrow - there’s some research going on here that’s right up your alley Twenty … http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/shootout/
September 1st, 2005 at 2:13 pm
muff diver says:
Get a spam filter, ya great cunt!
September 1st, 2005 at 3:24 pm
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Dr. E. Scientist, phD. says:
Rilly enjoyed yor blogg! Check out my bloog on comment spammer cunts getting arse-raped by a gang of crack smoking hippopotami!
September 1st, 2005 at 4:36 pm
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Johnny5 says:
Your blog is great if you a health issue.
Will take ass raping for food.
September 1st, 2005 at 5:02 pm
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Antonio from Italy says:
Que sera, sera is Spanish not Italian.
You’re right, your short italian vocabulary won’t get you very far, especially with the last sentence :-)))
And if I were you, I’d refuse to call myself Bocchino!
Do you know what that means? No? Ask an italian for that ;-)
Buon Viaggio!
September 1st, 2005 at 11:09 pm
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fatmammycat says:
From the new guy at work?
September 2nd, 2005 at 12:14 am
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pgmytwilit says:
Make some more fun about the hurricane in New Orleans, YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE, and I dare you to have the balls to post this, YOU WON’t, OF COURSE because you are a fucking balless fucking pussy. Email me direct if you have a fucking problem with that !
September 2nd, 2005 at 3:16 am
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Dr Maroon says:
If Twenty’s away, could we have a party if we promised to clean up afterwards? I’ve got cider and some martini planked from New Year. I’m only worried about neighbourhood toughs, who might force their way in and scratch the records.
That big American boy “pgmytwilit” worries me, he’s come a long way and done a lot of searching to find a site that insults him enough. He’ll probably check back regularly to see if we’re calling him a cunt or whatever. I shat it when he threatened Twenty to an email fight. He could take an eye out with that.
Would Fatmammycat bring crisps with her do you think. I like it when she’s drunk and does that thing when you’re snogging her. Ace.
September 2nd, 2005 at 8:41 am
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fatmammycat says:
Why is that American fella screaming in print like that? How the hell does saying ‘Que sera sera…’ insult New Orleans?
Cheese and onion okay with you, Doc? And this time try not to fall asleep with your lad in the suave salsa. We realise you enjoyed the licking sensations but hadn’t the heart to tell you it was the cats cleaning it off-can’t imagine why the raspy tongues didn’t give it away…unless of course, oh never mind. Tried to get the photos developed but when I saw the DSPCA van outside the chemist I thought best for all if we just put it behind us.
Get your wife to bring bigger olives this time too- Twenty was really pissed when the small one disappeared up his japs eye in that game. I never heard him curse like that before. God I love Fridays.
September 2nd, 2005 at 9:38 am
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Johnny5 says:
“From the new guy at work?”
Given that his charred remains have been shoved down the throat of his nearest and dearest I don’t think this is an option.
September 2nd, 2005 at 9:58 am
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Estrella, damn says:
Hey pgmytwilit, how is he supposed to email you direct when you don’t leave your email address?
Did someone loot it off you?
September 2nd, 2005 at 10:03 am
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fatmammycat says:
Hey, J5, since you haven’t had sex in over a month you can come to our party too, Dr Maroon says he’s going to pull a train.
September 2nd, 2005 at 2:32 pm
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Dr Maroon says:
No I didn’t and stop fishing, Mrs Maroon is not my wife or a relative.
Anyway she can’t come, she’s had a reaction to her anal bleaching and will have to stay in with the SavlonÒ. Johnny5 said he’d come but since Ball Bag’s away he’s been hanging about at Noreen’s a lot. It’s embarrassing, she’s too old for him, he’s got no chance. Christ he might bring her!
Right. Neck that dirty gin and I’ll see if old Twenty’s left any ‘erb in the kitchen.
September 2nd, 2005 at 3:07 pm
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Bane says:
Knowing how such a stew is made, I am surprised that I haven’t heard anybody refer to New Orleans as ‘Gumbo’, yet.
September 2nd, 2005 at 4:46 pm
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fatmammycat says:
Look behind that dusty bottle of Absinthe, he keeps his most potent stuff there.I’m told.
September 2nd, 2005 at 5:09 pm
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Anonymous says:
Is this the party?
What’s the matter with this lad here? I’ll stick him in the recovery position, oh shite I think he pissed himself.
Kieran
September 2nd, 2005 at 5:44 pm
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Dr Maroon says:
All I could find was this old doobie and a half bottle of malt scotch, Laphroiag.
Who are all these people?
Music! Let’s see what he’s got; Average White Band, Daniel O’Donnell, Val Doonican, Christ who’d a thought, the Bachelors.
Stick on Tommy Makem.
Are you going to light that up or just wave it about like a flag?
Oh, by the way, whoever boaked in the sink can fucking well clear it up.
Give us a draw of that,
Oh on the rocky road to Dublin,
1,2,3,4,5.
September 2nd, 2005 at 7:24 pm
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Anonymous says:
I don’t know whose house yous are in, but the 20 wouldn’t have a bleedin half bottle a malt, he wouldn’t have a half bottle of any shite, he’d a drunk it.
Brian lochlan
September 2nd, 2005 at 9:24 pm
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Anonymous says:
What time is it? Has anyone seen my watch?
Hey PGMYTWILIT, The Louisiana Purchase. Discuss.
I bet the French are laughing like fuck.
September 3rd, 2005 at 9:16 am
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Anonymous says:
Ok Twenty, you’re scaring me with this Godfather shite. Keep off the mescaline, alrigh?
September 3rd, 2005 at 10:47 pm
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jenE says:
wow…i missed a helluva party while i was away.
September 6th, 2005 at 8:21 pm
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willyman says:
test
September 12th, 2005 at 9:04 am
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saschagoebl says:
testsets
September 12th, 2005 at 9:05 am
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saschagoebl says:
test
September 12th, 2005 at 9:05 am
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willyman says:
tt
September 12th, 2005 at 9:32 am
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