Hello BBC readers
Posted in Old blogger by Twenty Major on August 3rd, 2005
Goodness, yesterday the BBC linked to me. Yes, they removed the ‘Hello cuntos’ part of my post and replaced ‘those Muslim lads’ with ‘July 7th bombers’ but no matter.
Twenty Major has now gone mainstream. Everyone in the world reads and trusts the BBC. It’s a TV and radio network without adverts which is quite fantastic. I know some people in the UK complain that they have to pay a TV licence but they get TV channels, a radio network which is second to none and probably the best news website there is for their money.
In Ireland we have to pay a TV licence as well but we get two cunty TV stations chock full of ads and Ryle Nugent, one half decent radio station and another radio station which thought it was a good idea to employ Gareth O’Callaghan and Tony Fenton for years and years and fuck all else. You Brits should count yourself lucky.
If it was up to me the TV licence should give us the right to veto shit we don’t want to watch plus we should be able to suggest our own programs like ‘Celebrity Love Twink’s house” where Abi Titmuss shags nobodies all over Ireland’s greatest panto star’s gaff opposite Superquinn in Knocklyon and ‘Law and Order - Abrekebabra Insepctor’s Unit’ where we discover week after week that the meat those cunts use in their kebabs is less meaty than Graham Norton is straight.
Anyway, if you have to have a dog licence a TV licence shouldn’t be any big hassle. Jimmy the Bollix had to have a licence for his south-east Asian housekeeper until she turned and he had to have her put down.
Licences are only a hassle if you’re a tight fisted cunt who wants everything for nothing.
jaffrey says:
damn it all twenty, now that you’re famous, i’m going to miss that personalised attention that you gave to us. now we’re going to hear all about your huge ego, and we’ll have to tolerate your ranting and raving over random topics…
August 3rd, 2005 at 1:43 am
Franklin J. Asshat, Inc. says:
I get the BBC’s droning nonsense free on the web and I don’t pay a damn dime. And for the same low, low price, I don’t have to live in England, either. I saw the sun today. Twice! Beat that, limeys.
And while I may be surrounded by annoying people with gratingly stupid accents, it beats British accents, and they’ll never be half as numbly self-satisfied and studiously boring as BBC announcers.
All I can say for the BBC is that their station-identification snippets are wonderfully designed, with truly luscious production values. Aside from that they can go to hell.
August 3rd, 2005 at 3:35 am
1
Johnny5 says:
Famous my hairy hole. The BBC have used and abused you like a jamrag during a particularly heavy menstrual flow.
They took the worst, most unfunny piece from your blog, altered it and the plagiarised it. You are a total cunt for falling for it twenty. Where are your morals man? WHERE?
If I were you I’d have hired Luciano to blow fuck out of BBC headquarters before kidknapping Terry Wogan on the eve of the Eurovision song contest. I would then have broadcast his grisly death at the hands of a bunch of rabid pitbulls live on ITV. That would teach the no-ad showing wankbags.
You used to be my hero twenty.
August 3rd, 2005 at 10:06 am
2
Dr Maroon says:
Congratulations on a wonderful review Twenty. I take it for “robust” they mean moaning owl cunt, but I’m nitpicking.
August 3rd, 2005 at 10:06 am
3
Dr Maroon says:
Johnny5: come off the fence for fuck’s sake, speak as you find.
August 3rd, 2005 at 10:26 am
4
fatmammycat says:
Oh I don’t know Johnny5, I reckon they deserve Wogan. Let him live I say, tis a far greater revenge. Long may his codology reign. Now if only we could send over that creepy thing that does the Telly Bingo, Chriat I thought it was bad as a drag queen, but left in a natural state is far more disturbing.
August 3rd, 2005 at 1:38 pm
5
Johnny5 says:
You could be right, fmc.
Can we send that Tubridy cunt too, he’s an awfully, terribly ,horrible cunt
August 3rd, 2005 at 2:27 pm
6
jenE says:
twenty’s gonna get a big(ger) head, now isn’t he? you make the bbc and suddenly you’re too good to talk about stupid, unneccesary things.
August 3rd, 2005 at 3:10 pm
7
Johnny5 says:
The BBC is about as stupid and unnecessary as it gets.
August 3rd, 2005 at 4:02 pm
8
jenE says:
a sidebar to bane’s comment to me yesterday…i don’t live in a high-rise. i live in a crappy one- bedroom apt on the 2nd floor. no a.c. and we call those stupid blue buggers “horseflies” where i’m from.
August 3rd, 2005 at 6:07 pm
9
Twenty Major says:
Over here horseflies are big bitey cunts. Although I could be mixing them up with rugby players.
August 3rd, 2005 at 6:15 pm
10
Rob says:
You wouldn’t want a horsefly to bite you on the cock, no.
August 3rd, 2005 at 6:53 pm
11
fatmammycat says:
Turbidy! My God of course, mister-not funny, oh no not even if a laugh would save me from instant death would that behemouth make me crack a smile, maith an buchaill J5!Might I also, since we’re ridding the land of filth, add Gerry Ryan, blubber-lipped manatee par excellence, to the list?
August 3rd, 2005 at 7:16 pm
12
Johnny5 says:
By all means, the size of his head is reason enough for me.
There are many more who could be added also. Twenty’s favourite crooner, Damo Rice for one and all the other whiny singer songwriter types that are appearing out of nowhere these days. They’re multiplying like gremlins in the fucking Liffey.
August 3rd, 2005 at 10:25 pm
13
Fiachra Davison says:
Send the fucks a solicitor’s letter demanding royalties
August 4th, 2005 at 5:00 pm
14