Morning after pill for girls of 11
Posted in Old blogger by Twenty Major on July 28th, 2005
Well, it’s been all over the news about how the Minister for Health, Jabba the Harney, reckons girls as young as 11 should be given the morning after pill to prevent pregnancy if they are sexually active.
Seriously, 11 years of age. You were lucky to get a kiss with a tongue when we were 11 (unless you were kept behind after class by Father Murphy). Anyway, it’s all a bit shocking, but here’s what I would suggest if sexually active 11 year olds were discovered.
1 - Sew up their gees until they’re 18. A small cathater can be inserted to allow them to urinate.
2 - Find their parents and beat the shit out of them.
3 - Find out who the 11 year old has been sexually active with, kick them in the balls 43 times then chuck them in the ‘Joy but somehow forget to put them in the nonce’s wing and let all the other cons know what they’re in for.
4 - Televise these proceedings as a warning to other youngsters who want to be like their role models Paris Hilton, Britney Spears and Princess Diana.
The need for morning after pills for 11 year olds would plummet but then of course people might complain about stupid things like ‘human rights’ and shite like that.
Human rights are for cunts.
Earl Jenkin⢠says:
I believe in making the world safe for our children, but not our children’s children, because I don’t think children should be having sex.
July 27th, 2005 at 10:33 pm
Bane says:
So, does this mean I have to let this one out of my basement and release her back into the wild? How will she survive on her own?
July 27th, 2005 at 11:23 pm
1
United Irelander says:
Don’t agree with it myself. We were indeed lucky to get a kiss with tongue when we were 11. (Not you and me Twenty obviously)
By the way, “Jabba the Harney” - excellent!
July 28th, 2005 at 2:26 am
2
Goodshape says:
Jabba the Harney is the best thing I’ve read all night. Rofl very much :-)
July 28th, 2005 at 3:24 am
3
dedalus says:
ah, would you feck off, ye feckin fecker?
here’s a pome for you, seeing as how you love them:
Fair City
On the condom machine
in the pub toilet,
“For refund insert baby”
while around the bar,
the skangers
getting langers
are holding up the walls
along with the knackers and the chavs
and the local head-the-balls.
O dear sweet Bally Aha Clee
funny, edgy, chancy, iffy,
ye’ve always been the place for me
astride the green and filthy Liffey
“Send them f**kin Spaniards
straight back home to Italy”
(graffiti on the 77A to Tallaght)
“Use your brian, vote Sinn Fein”
while Jacinta, all alone,
screeches down her mobile phone,
and the bus explodes in laughter,
“Anto’s a bleedin’ luvly roide,
and didn’t he pull up me knickers after!”
There’s an oul’ wan at the stop
who goes and asks the driver,
“How long will the next bus be?”
so he looks at her and he says
“Ah, missus, about 15 or twenty feet,
same as this, but who can tell”,
and she asks, not missing a beat,
“And will there be another monkey
driving that as well?”
O dear sweet Bally Aha Clee
funny, edgy, chancy, iffy,
ye’ve always been the place for me
astride the green and filthy Liffey
“Excuse me, sir”, says the tourist,
“do you know what side of the Liffey this is?”
“Eh?” says the Dub, with a puzzled look,
“I do, of course”, and goes back to his book;
so when the mother was belting the arse off her brat
and the tourists behind expressed their views,
“In Chermany we do not beat our children!”
the mammy replied like a ball off a bat
“Well, in Ireland we don’t gas our Jews”.
———————————-
Think I’m kidding? Check out these websites:
http://www.overheardindublin.com/
http://twentymajor.blogspot.com/
July 28th, 2005 at 4:57 am
4
maca says:
Well said Twenty!
Kissing at age 11?? When I was 11 I was either running round with a stick shouting “fuck youze, I shot you first” or I was out pucking a sliotar round the pitch.
July 28th, 2005 at 8:20 am
5
Peacheh says:
When i was 11 i still thought boys were yuck. Hated looking at the fuckers so the thoughts of them sticking anything in me was enough to make me vomit!!
And anyway sure by the sounds of things, most 11 year olds these days are more likely to be playing their “snow-ball” game at the local kiddies disco than actually riding. **shudder**
July 28th, 2005 at 9:45 am
6
AMS says:
one of my friends just put her brother’s 13 year old gf on the pill - I thought that was bad.
I still hated boys when I was 13 for feck sake
July 28th, 2005 at 10:56 am
7
Anonymous says:
Pray tell what’s the ’snowball’ game ?
July 28th, 2005 at 11:02 am
8
fatmammycat says:
When I was 11 I used to gallop across open fields on an imaginary horse, one hand outstretched for the reins, the other slapping my hip, urging my ‘horse’ to go faster. On my birthday I got one present, and on Christmas I got one present, and I appreciated them greatly because I would have been waiting feverishly for them, knowing it was a special occasion. I spent a great deal of my time with my nose buried in a book lying in the hideout I’d built down the bottom of our field. I liked to go wandering far and wide with our two dogs, both of whom almost got me killed on several occassions by charging after cattle who in turn would spin around and chase us, I swam in the sea, I swam in rivers, I played hopscotch and ‘May I?’ I played over at friends houses-which I walked or rode my bike to, I never asked for a lift and none was ever offered, I stayed out all day in summer, was as thin as a whip from running around, and usually filthy, I played a mean game of table tennis and brought every stray animal within a eight mile radius home. What I wasn’t was a rude, obese, playstation owning, sexually advanced ‘tweenie’ with faintly slutty inappropriate clothes, access to computers, money, mobiles and MTV I’m not saying everything back in the good old days was perfect, no rosy glasses here,I’m not saying that every child today is like what I have just described, but the morning after pill for 11 year olds? That just makes me terribly sad. What in the name of God happened?
July 28th, 2005 at 11:27 am
9
freak says:
When I was 11 I spent all summer outdoors as well, in the park, behind some hedge, snogging boys.
The morning after pill could have come in very handy then.
July 28th, 2005 at 2:42 pm
10
maca says:
“The morning after pill could have come in very handy then.”
You can’t get pregnant by snogging Freak, didn’t you know that? ;)
July 28th, 2005 at 3:00 pm
11
muff diver says:
What of the 11 year olds who want to become one with child?
July 28th, 2005 at 3:38 pm
12
MEGABRAD says:
This is the best blog ever. I invite you to come take a crap on Seattle (a crappy city anyway), as I would be honored. Also, what the hell do you mean “still smoking in Dublin bars”? Have they outlawed smoking in bars there? Did some hippy Americans come over there and take over, or what?
July 28th, 2005 at 5:02 pm
13
fatmammycat says:
It’s true, you can not smoke over here in bars, but that’s bloody great and bugger all to do with manky hippies.
July 28th, 2005 at 5:07 pm
14
jenE says:
ah…another american! so i’m not the only one! babies having babies…what is this world coming to? and you’re right, megabrad, this is the best blog ever.
July 28th, 2005 at 5:59 pm
15
IBLi§° says:
Hahahaha…
Funny shit!
That is actually pretty fucked up, giving eleven year olds morning after pills. I guess its better than having them go through pregnancy at such a young age, or maybe they should just sterilize those skanks.
-Johan
July 28th, 2005 at 8:16 pm
16
hungbunny says:
That seems like a lot of effort. If you do discover any sexually active 11 year olds, just send them round to my place. I’ll take care of them.
July 28th, 2005 at 8:28 pm
17
muff diver says:
A collector of Tiberian Spintriae are we Hung?
How “Old School”
July 29th, 2005 at 10:40 pm
18
Anoneumouse says:
The Sheoques
August 1st, 2005 at 6:16 pm
19
Anonymous says:
SHIT THATS A SHIT LOAD OF FUNKIN SHIT … SHIT
March 27th, 2006 at 8:46 pm
20
Devin says:
oh my god,im 11 years old..thats so gross!thats like thinking that one of my best friends ever had to take a morning after pill..
July 5th, 2006 at 9:39 am
21
Clarkpark says:
Every day forty-odd people get blown up in Baghdad, most for no greater a sin than coming out of their houses. Two year olds are being infected in southern Africa by AIDS positive relatives who think screwing a virgin will cure them. Every day thousands of people across the world die of drug overdoses and tens of thousands of starvation. Girls throughout the Arab world are routinely mutilated upon reaching puberty so they won’t ever shame their families by enjoying sex. Thanks to global warming, this year may visit several hurricane Katrina’s on Gulf of Mexico and Caribbean lands, and another mass murdering tsunami on the east Indies. They’re still at it in Kashmir, Afghanistan, Chechnya and the Near East, and at it again in Indonesia.
And you’re drooling on about an eleven year old –who’s apparently already had sex – getting a morning after pill? Take your eyes out of the blinders and your head out of your ass and look at the world. If an 11 year old tart was the biggest problem we had, we should all be on our knees thanking God for taking us to paradise.
July 23rd, 2006 at 4:58 pm
22
Twenty Major says:
Did I say it was the worst thing in the world?
Glad to see you passed melodrama with flying colours though.
July 23rd, 2006 at 10:03 pm
23
Annie Rhiannon says:
RE: clarkpark
“LOL”
October 3rd, 2006 at 6:14 pm
24