Attention Blogosphere
Posted in Old blogger by Twenty Major on July 27th, 2005
I’ve tried to keep quiet over this but it’s just gone too far now.
I’m sick and tired of Irish bloggers using letters and combinations of same to make words. Furthermore they seem bent on arranging these words in a logical order. These people are using syntax and nobody gives a damn.
We’re seeing the unfettered use of sentences and more often than not the blogger will continue making sentences, paragraphs, phrases and quotations to talk about things in what they call ‘posts’.
They’ll discuss subjects, talk about things, hash out theories, deliberate about sources, venture opinions, express concerns and invent words, like ‘Blogosphere’ and use acronyms at random.
These bloggers are then using their personal computers, some webspace and some variation of online publishing system to let other people read these missals, these journals, these throbbing organs of self-righteousness, perspective and blatant untruths presented as fact, witty stories or cutting edge reportage.
As bad as all that is we know have some people who don’t like what other people write. Call that personal choice if you like but the reality is far different. At some point it is going to descend into war. Not just a so-called ‘flame war’ where people argue online and call each other names until someone compares another one to Hitler thus proving some ‘Usenet©’ theory invented ages ago by some cunt or other, then someone will utter the phrase ‘ad hominem’ to counter some argument then *KABOOM* that’s where it will all start. Civil war.
What they don’t realise now is that blogs are so powerful, so ingrained in the day to day lives of Irish people, so embedded in our psyche that this will pitch Wordpress against Blogger, MT against Livejournal, even .ie against .com. There won’t be a single family in the country unaffected, there will be bloodshed, treachery, espionage, murder, pogroms and massacres. The Irish blogosphere as we know it will cease to exist with only one or two stragglers who nobody ever read overlooked in the mayhem and massacres.
So this is a call to Irish bloggers. Stop writing different stuff that some people don’t like. Only report facts like David Grey is a head-shaking cuntbag or that the 21-7 failed bombers were actually the remaining members of 80s band 5-Star desperate to get their names back in the paper. Be the same. Be sheep. Share your photos on Flickr.
Do not, under any circumstances, use the remote control that is your mouse and simply switch off the TV program you don’t like.
It’s safer that way. I promise you.
muff diver says:
Syntax, my ass. You ad hominem cunt!
July 26th, 2005 at 10:47 pm
Keith Gaughan says:
I admit it: we’re all a bunch of cunts.
July 26th, 2005 at 11:11 pm
1
Mad Dog says:
Blogageddon is just around the corner, I’m sure. You bastards…
July 27th, 2005 at 12:05 am
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Dr. E. Scientist, phD. says:
No worries for me. As the blogospherical analog of the cockroach, I’ll emerge from the rubble unscathed and lay eggs your grub.
July 27th, 2005 at 4:16 am
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Stephen says:
Blogosphere is such a stupid fuckign word.
July 27th, 2005 at 9:45 am
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Sinéad says:
Twenty, I got all afraid there for a minute. That was nearly a serious post. Don’t do it again. Even get back to talking about poo if you like but not this. As far the word ‘blogosphere’… Bah.
July 27th, 2005 at 10:18 am
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ldl says:
if it is a civil war, i’m just waiting for the michael collins of the irish blogs ghetto to plant a car bomb in someone else’s blog, and then for his friend dev to come along and have him killed. and then neil jordan can make a film about it all. i think ricky gervais should play 20m and helena bonham carter can be caoimhe.
July 27th, 2005 at 11:19 am
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ldl says:
hang on a sec, i think i’ve just worked out who 20m *really* is! from this quote ” blogs are so powerful, so ingrained in the day to day lives of Irish people, so embedded in our psyche” i deduce that 20m is really jawn waters! jesus, would you ever just get over your fling with sinéad o’connor and get a life you dirty old man
July 27th, 2005 at 11:23 am
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jenE says:
this is absolutely irrelevant to me as i do not live in ireland and this is the only “blah”gosphere that i read regularly.
btw…who are you and what have you done with twenty you bastard?!
July 27th, 2005 at 3:46 pm
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Twenty Major says:
First it was Kevin fucking Myers, now John cunting Waters.
What have I done to deserve this?
July 27th, 2005 at 6:08 pm
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Twenty Major says:
And Ricky Gervais? Puh-lease.
It’s got to Clint Eastwood doing a heavy Dublin accent.
July 27th, 2005 at 6:09 pm
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Angie says:
What do you have against David Gray?? (grumbles)
August 1st, 2005 at 6:26 pm
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fatmammycat says:
Oh Angie, where in the head wobling tone deaf way would you like us to start?
August 3rd, 2005 at 1:41 pm
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