Ethnic cleansing and other stuff
Posted in Old blogger by Twenty Major on July 25th, 2005
Stinking Pete was spouting in the pub the other day about all the bombs in London and he put forward a solution. Says he “I think the Muslims should be ethnically cleansed. Then they can go about their business without exploding themselves all over the shop. That’s right. Give them a good ethnic cleansing and it’d all be sorted.”
I explained to him that ethnic cleansing didn’t mean putting them in a big bath and giving them a good wash. I’m not sure he understood. He puzzled for a while and said “Well, in that case didn’t the English try and ethnically cleanse the Irish with that old famine business a few years back?”
“I’ll ethnically cleanse you in the bollocks if you don’t shut your mouth”, said Jimmy.
“You can’t stop me talking. I can say what I want” said a foolishly indignant Pete. “I’ve got as much right to talk as anyo- …urgh.”
I think he understands the concept of ethnic cleansing now. Jimmy can move fast when he wants.
While there’s all this talk about radical Muslims and the literal meaning of the Koran advocating violence wouldn’t it be pithy to take a moment to look at some phrases from the bible which have been totally ignored?
Abraham made a great feast on the day that Isaac was weaned. But Sarah saw the son of Hagar the Egyptian, whom she had borne to Abraham, laughing. So she said to Abraham, “At which time there is oil in the Middle East then the forces of the west may rape and plunder these lands in the name of our Lord.”
or
And the Lord said unto Moses, I have seen this people, and, behold, it is a stiffnecked people with rucksacks and beards:
Now therefore let me alone, that my wrath may wax hot against them, and that I may consume them: and I will make of thee a great nation and public transport may be safe once again.
Fairly damning stuff, and they teach kids this in school. I suppose the big difference is that Muslims pay attention in religion class while all we ever did was doodle and wish the cunt in the dress at the top of the room would shut his mouth. If we had listened for even a second Ireland could have born a generation of radical Catholics known as Cathicals or Radolics. Imagine.
Why do we only have radical Muslims, anyway? Why doesn’t a group of radical Christians rise and go to battle with the Muslims? They can spout the old ‘eye for an eye’ line from the bible and be totally justified when they lash around the place crucifying people and kicking the babies out of pregnant teenagers.
Or we could have some radical Jews who would fire bagels at these monsters from cannons shaped like circumcised mickeys. Better yet what about some radical Hari Krishnas who would present you with a flower garland, give you a token to get 20% off your vegetarian lunch at the Hari restaurant then knee you in the bollocks and stamp on your head.
The only religion that wouldn’t make very good radicals are protestants. Everybody knows protestants are the most peaceful people on the planet and will never retaliate no matter how fierce the provocation. They make the Amish look like serial killers. They wear bonnets at Easter, they love their children and families and they dedicate themselves to making the world a better place.
Maybe that’s the answer, make everyone protestant. Why didn’t we think of it sooner?
Bane says:
Cleanse all those filthy ethnics, I say. Especially the ones with freckles.
July 25th, 2005 at 3:08 am
Dr Maroon says:
Twenty is right. But note: there’s two types of ethnic Celt. Know them by their appearance. (We must get cards made) The aforementioned frecklers who burn like fuck in Spain, and the dark ones who don‘t. Either type give birth to either type. Fuck knows how that works. If you’re a remnant Pict, or from Saxony, a finance director perhaps, or an Anglohyphen or something, then it’s fucking cheerio dogbreath!
July 25th, 2005 at 11:56 am
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fatmammycat says:
Have you lost your mind?
July 25th, 2005 at 2:56 pm
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Stack says:
Ethnic cleansing is taking a bit of a hit recently, its not seen as cool anymore but give it a few years and everyone will be ethnically cleanings everyone else,
Bring back the good aul days..!!!
July 25th, 2005 at 3:04 pm
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Dealga says:
what’s the story with these darkies anyhoo? The ging-ers with their freckles, pale blue eyes and knocked knees can be easily explained - inbreeding - but those darkies in the west and north-west look odd. I figure it must be something to do with the Spanish Armada. They crash landed here after getting beaten by, ironically, a ging-er and raped all the local peasant bints hence a whole pile of paddies that don’t turn lobster in Teremolinos
July 25th, 2005 at 3:50 pm
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fatmammycat says:
You know Dealga, I supect there wasn’t an awful lot of ‘raping’ going on. Can you imagine some young one down Clare way- married off to a ginger curly haired freckle faced gomb by her own father for the price of a good goat- finding a wet, dark haired, dark-skined lothario struggling across the peat with a glint in his black smoldering eye. Well actually perhaps there was raping done, but I doubt the spicks started it.
July 25th, 2005 at 4:10 pm
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muff diver says:
You can get a lass for the price of a good goat?
Are they calibrated on a “freckles per square centimeter” basis?
July 25th, 2005 at 4:29 pm
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fatmammycat says:
Christ Muffy, you can get a girl in Ireland for the price of a packet of crisps these days. Although freckled ones are now considered a delicacy. Strange really.
July 25th, 2005 at 5:00 pm
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Muff Diver says:
How many packets of crisps can I get for the price of a good goat then?
July 25th, 2005 at 6:58 pm
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jenE says:
as an american decended from those “darkie micks” i don’t burn in the face of the yellow one in the sky. and my son has curly red-blonde hair. how does that work? his dad is a red-headed scot, and neither does he burn in the sun.
July 25th, 2005 at 7:42 pm
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constructeur de maison says:
The main question is the religions vision of the world. Muslims don’t see the world with common eyes (modern/occidental). Their goals are totally different than ours. Muslims culture is totally different and, it’s my very profound opinion, every Muslim has the potential to be turned into human bomb. Because religion and culture (education, laws) are not separated, the religion is deeply impregnate under Muslims skin (very close to sects method). I’m not sure that you can turn an Amish into a human bomb… Think about that!
July 25th, 2005 at 8:31 pm
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Amish bomber says:
Lord Tunderin’ Jesus, who let the frog in?
July 25th, 2005 at 8:39 pm
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Dr Maroon says:
jenE: That’s my point, it‘s nothing to do with the godamned Spanish, our same genes produce both, Jaffa Cake frecklers and black haired 4 o’clock shadows. Look at New York policemen, fuck me gently! Finbar and hey you Jimmy come to town. And by the way, your dad is putting on factor 20 without telling you. We all do it.
But never mind that shit, Fatmammycat, are you a cheese and onion or a salt and vinegar girl?
July 26th, 2005 at 10:09 am
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fatmammycat says:
I’m more of a Meanies gal myself Doc-cheap and spicy.
July 26th, 2005 at 12:05 pm
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frankp says:
“Why doesn’t a group of radical Christians rise and go to battle with the Muslims?”
Are you kidding?
Do a google search for ‘bush, christian, iraq’ and see what comes back…
July 29th, 2005 at 3:11 am
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