*bring bring*
Posted in Old blogger by Twenty Major on July 22nd, 2005
“Hello Eircom net technical support, Jason speaking. How can I help you?”
“You’re a cunt.”
“Pardon?”
“I seem to be having some trouble getting connected.”
“Ok, what’s your username please?”
“Eat shit, cocksucker.”
“Erm….”
“twentymajor. I’m using a normal old modem to connect.”
“And what happens when you try to connect.”
“Your cunstrousness cuts me off.”
“I’m sorry, if you keep talking to me like that I’m going to hang up.”
“No, I’m sorry. I have tourette’s syndrome. I can’t help it.”
“Oh, really?”
“No, you dopey cunt.”
*click*
*bring* *bring*
“Hello, Eircom net technical support, Daragh speaking.”
“Hi, I was just talking to Jason and I got cut off. Can you put me through to him again.
“Ok, hang on a second.”
“Hang onto my balls you wanker.”
“What?”
“Nothing. I’ll hold.”
*hold music*
(tentative)”Hello, Jason speaking.”
“Hello Jason, this is ‘twentymajor”. We seem to have been cut off.”
“I hung up because you were using bad language.”
“Don’t you ever swear, Jason?”
“Yes, I do, but not at people doing their jobs.”
“I understand. I’m sorry, it was my friends here daring me to do it and I thought I should ring back and apologise because nobody needs that kind of crap when they’re at work.”
“Ok then. Now, do you have a problem connecting?”
“Yes, I can’t seem to connect and it’s giving me a weird error message.”
“What’s the error message?”
“Go fuck yourself, pissface.”
*click*
*bring* *bring*
“Hello, Apache pizza, Fairview. How can I help?”
“Hi, this I’d like to order a large Hawaian with extra cheese, please and a garlic bread and a can of coke.”
“Ok, address please.”
“Eircom technical support, East Point Business Park. Ask for Jason.”
Anonymous says:
Please, please, please tell me that you ‘really’ ordered that pizza !!!
July 22nd, 2005 at 9:07 am
Johnny5 says:
You evil bastard, Twenty.
Apache pizza is fucking disgusting.
July 22nd, 2005 at 10:23 am
1
maca says:
Maith an fear Twenty!!
July 22nd, 2005 at 10:58 am
2
Stack says:
All lies, there is not internal transfering between techy’s or phone monkeys, how I know this I wont say…
Apache Pizza is pure savage, nicest pizza establishment in the world.
July 22nd, 2005 at 11:03 am
3
Johnny5 says:
“Apache Pizza is pure savage, nicest pizza establishment in the world.”
You obviously don’t eat Pizza very often you [b]CUNT[/b]
July 22nd, 2005 at 11:43 am
4
Stack says:
HaHahaha johnny5 you wanker, fucked up on the aul bold thingy there, Yes I eat pizz alot but mostly off your ma’s tits
July 22nd, 2005 at 1:01 pm
5
Stack says:
HaHahaha johnny5 you wanker, fucked up on the aul bold thingy there, Yes I eat pizz alot but mostly off your ma’s tits
July 22nd, 2005 at 1:01 pm
6
Johnny5 says:
First you mock my HTML tagging ability and then a jibe at my mother?
Forgive me for not breaking into uncontrollable sobbing you AIDS ridden, cum quaffing, fuckbucket.
PS: what exactly is Pizz?
CUNT
July 22nd, 2005 at 1:39 pm
7
Dr Maroon says:
Twenty, when Jason buggers you with his big red dick and fires his burning load up your arse, I will be laughing.
July 22nd, 2005 at 1:44 pm
8
fatmammycat says:
No you won’t doc, you’ll be busy taking your wife by surprise. And Apache Pizza is bloody disgusting.
July 22nd, 2005 at 1:48 pm
9
Anonymous says:
Apache Pizza what the fuck is that
July 22nd, 2005 at 1:59 pm
10
jaffrey says:
if there were an apache pizza in the states, there would be lawyers lined up telling them that they were targeting a minority group, and once the class action suit were settled, there would be free pizza vouchers for anyone that claimed to be at least 1/100 native american by birth.
July 22nd, 2005 at 2:10 pm
11
Johnny5 says:
fatmammycat is quite clearly a cat of very discerable taste. A cool cat, I’d say.
Take that, Smack, you stuttering little fuck.
July 22nd, 2005 at 2:33 pm
12
Stack says:
“PS: what exactly is Pizz?”
its either sort for pizza or i’m covering my mistake, you deside you cum swallowing shit stick
July 22nd, 2005 at 2:38 pm
13
jenE says:
twenty, you kill me. plus, any mentally competant person should know that indians make the worst pizza in the world.
July 22nd, 2005 at 2:43 pm
14
Johnny5 says:
If in doubt, retort with the same insult.
You might as well have said ‘I know you are but what am I’ you tedious cunt.
July 22nd, 2005 at 2:58 pm
15
Twenty Major says:
Stack - there are too internal transfers so there are.
Indian pizzas would be made from booze. Boozzas.
July 22nd, 2005 at 4:09 pm
16
Stack says:
I would never call you a liar Twenty but your a liar, you can transfer to different departments but you cant transfer to different tech heads,
Your goin to send lucky after me aren’t you.
July 22nd, 2005 at 4:15 pm
17
fatmammycat says:
‘Your face, my arse’ works very nicely as a childish retort too, since we seem to have lowered the bar to this level. We have lowered it, right?
July 22nd, 2005 at 4:23 pm
18
Twenty Major says:
Stack, far be it for me to doubt you but I’m pretty sure you’re wrong.
Lucky is on his way.
July 22nd, 2005 at 4:53 pm
19
Dr Maroon says:
I mentioned it once and now she’s going on about my face in her arse.
July 22nd, 2005 at 8:23 pm
20
Anonymous says:
i despise eircom as much as your average disenfranchised punter, but sending them an apache is a little harsh. poor, soulless techies would probably get the message through the medium of a dominos or something. i hear pat kenny owns shares in both eircom and apache.
-Carl.
July 23rd, 2005 at 5:43 pm
21
constructeur de maison says:
Apache or Indian pizzas, think again about it… Twenty Major will allways rules !!!
July 23rd, 2005 at 11:03 pm
22
Anonymous says:
You can always transfer calls on helpdesks, although it’s easier to pretend you don’t know how to do it.
July 27th, 2005 at 11:43 pm
23