More hats, less beards
Posted in Old blogger by Twenty Major on July 14th, 2005
Is it any coincidence that the increase in worldwide terrorism has come with the decline of hat-wearing and the increase in beardism?
Look at any sepia toned picture and all the men wore hats and braces to keep their pantaloons up. Hats are cool and when people wore hats you didn’t have bearded people going round the place exploding themselves on trains and flying bi-planes into the Empire State building.
Now we don’t have hats and lots more people have beards. We also have a huge increase in terrorist attacks, religious conflicts and a week of good weather in Ireland.
Far be it for me to suggest, imply or infer anything but I think the government should make the wearing of hats mandatory and outlaw any beard longer than 1 inch. Nothing bushy allowed although a decent covering of the face shouldn’t cause anyone any problems.
Phone, write, fax or email your TD today and while you’re waiting for the lazy cunt to get back to pop on a Panama, break out your Bowler or slip on a Stetson. Probably best not to wear a turban though.
JG says:
I think we should use Gerry Adams as a model for the acceptable beard length. Anybody sporting a beard longer than Gerry’s should be detained and tortured.
July 14th, 2005 at 3:00 pm
Uncle Pauly says:
A similar analogy to Northern Ireland. For a brief period in 1978 when bowler hats were banned there was complete and utter peace between the warring factions….
…alas it couldn’t last.
July 14th, 2005 at 3:43 pm
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Kevin Breathnach says:
A wise man once said, “Where there are beards, there is much joy.” Twenty, unlike hats, they unite people.
July 14th, 2005 at 7:06 pm
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jaffrey says:
just out of curiosity, what do you call that patch of fur on your chin?
July 14th, 2005 at 10:22 pm
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Twenty Major says:
Aubrey.
July 14th, 2005 at 10:24 pm
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neuro-praxis says:
Deep.
July 14th, 2005 at 11:31 pm
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