Name those cunts
Posted in Old blogger by Twenty Major on April 27th, 2005
I know I should know better but I watched TV again last night and it was some show called ‘Reverb’ which looked at RTE’s music archives. There was some funny stuff on it, especially Dickie Rock but most especially the Boyzone goons dancing on the Late Late show all those years ago. How any of them can show their faces in public after that is still beyond me. No matter what happens to any of us for the rest of our lives we should take comfort that nothing even half as embarassing as that could befall us.
Anyway, this show is like so many others in that they get D-list celebs to make comments about what they’re showing. The problem is in Ireland your D-list celebs are like Z-list celebs elsewhere and I didn’t know who any of them were. Now, you might find this hard to believe but the unfunny twats they had on were even less funny than the unfunny twats they have on The Panel on RTE2.
There were two in particular. One ginger bloke with glasses who told stories which were about as funny as AIDS but which he seemed to find hilarious. He talked about being a loungeboy in the Braemore Rooms and apparently all the women would say “You’re coming home with me.”
The only reason I can think they’d want to bring him home is to drown the cunt and put him out of his misery. Not even the most desperate housewives would go home with a ginger loungeboy when they could just do the taxi driver, right Tommy? He also told a story about wearing his brother’s Iron Maiden jacket to a Mama’s Boys gig. It might have been funny had he lost the jacket, vomited on the jacket, torn the jacket or caused some sort of damage to the jacket but he didn’t. He came home and his brother was angry because he wore the jacket. Well pardon me as I try and stop my sides from splitting.
The other bloke was another bespectacled chap with funny stubble and bleached blonde hair (I think). He told a story about being the first person in Ireland to ever see The Smiths. It was so obviously made up I wondered why he bothered. Then I realised it was because he was a sad, lonely cunt. Looking at him, with his horrific face and reedy, boyish voice, I understood that he was just desperate for some sort of acceptance and credibility. That doesn’t mean he isn’t loathsome though.
What I need from you, dear readers, is for you to identify these people for me so I can put them on my list. Quite what I have planned for the people on my list I can’t yet say but if no-mark celebrities around Ireland go missing only for their flayed corpses to turn up months later I want to state here and now that it is nothing at all to do with me.
Nothing. at. all.
So who are they?
maca says:
Classic Twenty.
April 27th, 2005 at 9:43 am
daves_mot says:
I just heard Des Bishop’s voice and I couldn’t watch anymore, so sorry I have no idea who they are.
f.
April 27th, 2005 at 10:53 am
1
Johnny5 says:
Bomb the offices of RTE, you’re bound to take out a few of them.
Hopefully Pat Kenny will bare the major brunt of the blast and shards of his shattered skeleton will cause havoc elsehwere
April 27th, 2005 at 11:14 am
2
Kev says:
The kipper in the glasses he doesn’t need was Jason Byrne.
The fat fake blonde was Kevin Gildea.
Of course if you’d read the captions, you’d know that already ;-)
Cunt of a program - no time to enjoy any of the music worth listening to, just talking heads and some Hot Press endorsed middle age rock (Smiths, Rory Gallagher). The shame is, they are worth listening to.
April 27th, 2005 at 1:23 pm
3
Twenty Major says:
Thank you, Kev. Sadly I missed the first 15 minutes so by the time I turned over they had no captions on those cunts.
April 27th, 2005 at 1:26 pm
4
Julius Geezer says:
Comedian guy with bleach blond hair is Kevin Gildea. Ginger comedian also with specs was Jason Byrne. Hector Ó hEochagáin is a presentr, Jerry Fish is a singer…..
April 27th, 2005 at 1:31 pm
5
Twenty Major says:
And these guys appear to be very popular. What a strange and terrifying world we live in.
April 27th, 2005 at 1:33 pm
6
Julius Geezer says:
You should have your own show Twenty, show em how it’s done.
April 27th, 2005 at 2:17 pm
7
Tommy says:
Wha? me do a ginger loungeboy?
I think I’ll read that again.
Oh, I didn’t see the program,I was dropping a desperate housewife home.
She was desperate.
April 27th, 2005 at 2:19 pm
8
fatmammycat says:
Just how desperate was she Tommy? Ya know what I mean, wink, wink, nudge nudge…
Toodles,
April 27th, 2005 at 6:24 pm
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Tommy says:
Ehh,no,explain in graphic detail Fatmammycat.
April 28th, 2005 at 1:01 am
10
fatmammycat says:
Like, say was she desperate in a ‘oh, I’ve forgotten my wllet, how ever shall I repay you. My, what big hands you have mister taxi driver…’
way.
toodles.
April 28th, 2005 at 5:06 pm
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Tommy says:
OH that way, you sound expierenced,
No she was just ugly.
April 28th, 2005 at 5:29 pm
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fatmammycat says:
Yes I am, but really, how disappointing for you-and my humble apologies. And there I was thinking you’d had right crack!
toodles
April 29th, 2005 at 12:20 am
13
Tommy says:
Yes it is disappointing, but that can be sorted when I pick you up and you’ve forgotten your wallet.
April 29th, 2005 at 12:53 am
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Weppel says:
I think it is not classic twenty.
August 25th, 2005 at 10:31 am
15