Nick Leeson’s career change
Posted in Old blogger by Twenty Major on April 18th, 2005
So the man who brought down Baring’s Bank has now got a new job as commercial manager of Galway United Football Club. Sounds like a marriage made in heaven, doesn’t it? He can use his wisdom and knowledge of the markets to invest the club’s money in futures and bonds and soon they’ll be able to finance signings like Ronaldo, David Beckham and Gary Breen.
It put me in mind of some other career changes people might make. Like these:
Michael Barrymore - he can do some ads for safety in swimming pools, reminding people not to take lots of cocaine and get bummed to death.
Lee Bowyer and Jonathan Woodgate - these two footballers can launch a new scheme designed to help stamp out (pun intended) racism and advocate the use of Pakistani owned corner shops.
David Blunkett - he can set up a chain of private detectives called ‘Eye-spy’ who specialise in finding out if the woman you’re having an affair with is actually having another affair with someone else.
Jonathan King and Gary Glitter - they can set up a kids play centre where parents can leave their children for birthday parties or when they go shopping safe in the knowledge they’ll get lots of special attention from the owners themselves.
OJ Simpson - OJ can open a leather goods store specialising in gloves which don’t fit so you can get away with murdering your wife and her lover in a vicious frenzy of stabbing and stuff. His partner in this business might be the husband of Rachel O’Reilly.
Roman Polanski, Billy Wyman and Jerry Lee-Lewis - these guys can set up a finishing school for girls under 15 years of age.
Woody Allen - need help with starting an affair with your adopted daughter that you’ve had since she was a toddler? Damn the morality of it - Woody will teach you how to get stuck in. Just send $99.99 and you’ll receive a full instruction booklet packed with Polaroid pictures.
George Best - his new work out DVD ‘How to care for your new liver’ will be available soon. It includes great new moves such as ‘Get pissed all day long’, ‘Beat your wife’ and ‘Drinking meths when the pubs close is no big problem’.
Bertie Ahern - He can become a stuttering fool of a politician whose main concern is ensuring none of the shit his government gets up to ever reflects badly on him. Wait a minute…
festinog says:
Dear Twenty,
I need your advise. Or even your opinion. Or both. What is it with bloggers that ban you just because you don’t agree with what they say. Not mentioning anyone in particular but Young Ireland banned me ’cause I think he’s a muppet. Is that fair? Or am I just been a cunt. Or is he a cunt? Or are we both cunts? If so, who is the cuntiest of them all?
Best Regards
Festinog
PS You Cunt.
April 18th, 2005 at 4:40 pm
Johnny5 says:
potty mouth
April 18th, 2005 at 5:09 pm
1
fatmammycat says:
He’s a total camels toe/wizards sleeve for banning you festinog.I say down with banning all together. For Christ’s sake it’s a blog, since when did dickheads and snatch brackets get so PC anyway.
Toodles.
April 18th, 2005 at 6:19 pm
2
Twenty Major says:
His comments appear to be bollixed at the moment so I can’t see what he banned you for. I’ll take a look later and get back to you.
ps - go fuck yourself.
April 18th, 2005 at 6:48 pm
3
Twenty Major says:
Findo - why did you get banned? I don’t see any comments from you.
Which post was it?
April 18th, 2005 at 8:58 pm
4
festinog says:
Twenty,
the little man deleted all my posts (by the way it was United Ireland not Young Irelander… i deserve it really for looking at a blog with that kind of a name).
What a cunt.
Thank you for your rapid response,
best regards,
Festinog
PS No. Go fuck YOURself.
Cunt.
April 18th, 2005 at 9:51 pm
5
Twenty Major says:
What did you say?
April 18th, 2005 at 10:14 pm
6
United Irelander says:
festinog,
I recently have been dealing with a troll over on my blog who decided to launch into personal attacks on me with every post. I banned this user and discovered he was still accessing my site with a different IP address. When I saw your comments I assumed it was the same person posting under a different name. If I made a mistake then I apologise. I’m not afraid of criticism I just go by the rule of Slugger O’Toole - “play the ball not the man”.
ps I think you’re a muppet too and I think my blog’s name is the dog’s bollix.;)
April 19th, 2005 at 12:28 am
7
hensons says:
aha - I am that one that the muppet attempted to ban. I also came across the random unconnected shitology written in the unitedirelander blog and so commented something along the lines of “this is shit”. Next thing I am banned!!
So I go on my other computer and post a “fuck you you censorship loving blah, blah” and the aformentioned muppet bans me again. Anyway cos the guy is technically impotent his ban only last a few hours so i randomly now post a bit of abuse and it has to ban me all over again.
Now the muppet has written an apology appartenly from meself saying sorry for abusing him. Well enough is enough, I won’t have people misrepresenting me so i have been busy for the past hour. I look forward to tomorrow.
My campaign will continue until it, meaning the young irelander, ends censorship.
Twenty Major - you are one sick but funy bastard
April 19th, 2005 at 2:03 am
8
Johnny5 says:
Blog wars - How incredibly gay.
April 19th, 2005 at 9:39 am
9
Twenty Major says:
Young Irelander - you should let these people post but merely delete any comments that are personal or ‘play the man’.
A bit of argy-bargy in the comments box can be as entertaining, if not more, than the blog (any blog, not just yours) itself.
Twenty
ps - Don’t let Festinog post because he’s an all-out, World Champion cunt.
April 19th, 2005 at 9:43 am
10
United Irelander says:
I favour a bit of argy-bargy in the comments box but I won’t tolerate people who post nothing but insults. They are a pointless distraction as far as I’m concerned. As for you ‘hensons’, your ‘campaign’ only serves to make you look childish. I say post on my blog all you want! It increases the amount of visitors I get and it only takes me a second to delete your posts which I don’t even read anyway! Have fun!
April 19th, 2005 at 1:16 pm
11
United Irelander says:
I have just lifted my ban on you hensons after taking Twenty Major’s advice. I await to see how you will respond but as Twenty said, if I see anything personal, I will delete it.
April 19th, 2005 at 1:31 pm
12
Johnny5 says:
Go on Young Irelander you bid mad thing you.
Your blog is as tedious as picking bits of popcorn from your teeth
April 19th, 2005 at 1:46 pm
13
Twenty Major says:
I like the Top 10s.
You should do more Top 10s YI.
April 19th, 2005 at 4:33 pm
14
Johnny5 says:
Indeed, Twenty, Indeed.
You should post more shit about the McArtney sisters as well. They never get old.
April 19th, 2005 at 4:42 pm
15
Twenty Major says:
“They never get old.”
Are they witches?
April 19th, 2005 at 4:55 pm
16
hensons says:
ok a wise decision my ideolgically confused friend.
I will try my utmost not to play the man but equally you must try to refrain from writing post that are implausible, innacurate, utter bullshit or taking the opinion of any writers in INM or your mates drunken rantings are either interesting or factual.
read some of your posts on Slugger today - interesting :)) we can call it quits ;’
April 19th, 2005 at 6:01 pm
17
Anonymous says:
You can find out more about what Nick’s up to at his Official Website http://www.nickleeson.com
June 24th, 2005 at 12:29 pm
18