Young people of Ireland (and Hot Press readers)…
Posted in Old blogger by Twenty Major on February 25th, 2005
How the buggery fuck has Damien Rice ended up in the top Irish 3 albums of all time in the latest Hot Press poll?
Been-around-forever editor of the music rag Niall Stokes said the success of his album, O (he couldn’t afford any more letters when he recorded it), was remarkable.
I have to agree. It’s remarkable that people who don’t live in perpetual nightime like Nothern Scandinavians will try and make up for it by listening to music that makes you want to kill yourself. Because thats what that bloke does to me. He makes me want die. As soon as possible. Anything to stop listening to him.
Have people gone mad? Don’t they realise that prolonged exposure to this whiny cunt will result in serious damage to their mental health and their wallets as their depression sends them on binges of comfort-eating. Each sitting of the album will be accompanied by 1/4 pounder from Silvios, washed down with a batter sausage, spice burger, fresh cod and two large singles of chips.
Anyway, here’s hoping he makes like Kurt Cobain and does us all a favour. Anyone out there care to introduce him to heroin? And while he’s at it maybe he’d take Brian Kennedy with him.
Anyone else remember that thing they used to do in the Phoenix about the Pope and how they’d make fun of his accent. “Yang peepul ov Ireland, I laf you all.” etc?
Would it be bad taste to do that now, do you think? “Yang *slurp* - *drool* - beurrrgh - *elephant man noise* - *dribble* - peepurrrrghl….” etc. It is bad taste? Sorry.
Finally for today I urge you to discover a fine new Irish publication called Dangermaus. It’s chock full of the stories they don’t want you to hear about the celebrities and politicians you don’t want to know about. The latest issue was published but yesterday and in the future will be published every Monday (except this coming Monday because it was only published yesterday). Go now. Enjoy. Bookmark. Tell your friends. You will be rewarded in *droool* *slurp* heaven. Oh yes.
Tommy says:
‘can’t take my eyes offa you’ that’s the only line of the song I know and I can’t get it out of my head, much to evey one in earshots annoyance. Actually, I can do a bit of the violin solo aswell which I think adds greatly to my rendition.So if you want a bit of cheering up after listening to his album, give me a call and I’ll do me bit for ya.
February 25th, 2005 at 11:40 am
ciaran.. says:
Rice’s going out with that fat/skinny bitch from that film, Brigid Jones’ Diary.
I never saw the second one, and can’t thoroughly recall the first, but am I right in saying that there is no fucking diary in either of them?
Anyhoo, Rice won’t be able to keep up with the diet of the Atkins sponsored fat/skinny wagon with the mushy mouth, and will surely die.
If she (it’s Runny Zellyweger I speak of) were to right her auto-biography, would it be called “The Fridge to Bones Diary”?
I hate myself for having said that..
As for Dangermaus, I second Mr Majors reccomendation.
It’s The Truth!
February 25th, 2005 at 11:40 am
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johnny5 says:
I know Mr. Rice’s younger brother.
Can we set aside some hate for him too? He’s a complete wanker.
February 25th, 2005 at 12:01 pm
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Twenty Major says:
Let’s spread the hate around his family like traveller’s spread the plague.
February 25th, 2005 at 12:19 pm
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Twenty Major says:
Without the errant apostrophe, of course…
February 25th, 2005 at 12:20 pm
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ciaran.. says:
“Without the errant apostrophe, of course… “
Seen as how you seem to be repenting for your typographical errors, I’d like to apologise sincerely for using “right” instead of “write”.
For penance, I shall listen to Rice’s Cannonball until my ears can take no more and flee
February 25th, 2005 at 12:37 pm
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Twenty Major says:
Ciaran,
there’s no need to inflict such punishment on yourself.
Unless of course you’re a secret Rice fan…
February 25th, 2005 at 12:45 pm
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fatmammycat says:
I thought Renee Zellweger was tripping the light fantastic with one mister Jack White from the White Stripes. Ciaran, I’ve never known you to be wrong, so I ask with lots of cap doffing as I type.
toodles
ps. does anyone know how to make two cats like each other? I’ve lately (yesterday)rescued one small and somewhat scruffy kitten from the street,and vagabond that he is, he appears to incite the other cat I have into spasms of what can only be described as ‘Twenty meets the English man’ bouts of rage.
February 25th, 2005 at 7:08 pm
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Mister Whiskers says:
I just think it’s a pity they’ve evidently forgotten the charms of Enya, or the Corrs…
February 26th, 2005 at 12:18 am
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swarthyboy says:
as for those northern whingers snow patrol fuck me - what a shit album, was in tesco at 3am a bit peckish and stoned and was humming oen of their songs i heard on the radio on the way to the tescos do i potter off to the music section and add the album to my basket.
it is worse than a bad demo, the cunt you signed these clowns must have been deaf.
utter MOR shite. and the funmniest thing is that teh only good song is good because its melody and hook is a brillaint bass line - guess who these twats threw out of the band a couple of weeks ago???
shit music from garden centre prods.
April 5th, 2005 at 12:22 am
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