Luas and fighting fire with fire
Posted in Old blogger by Twenty Major on February 22nd, 2005
Yet another Luas crash last night saw people injured, traffic jammed and more embarassment. The accident happened around Connolly Station last night when a truck drove right into the side of the tram.
It’s obvious what’s happening. Firstly people can’t see the Luas well enough, they need to be painted fluorescent yellow, like highlighter markers, and secondly there’s a concerted campaign by people who want to be able to drive down Harcourt Street again. The common man is fucked off having to drive down Hatch Street and then Leeson Street. He’s confused at having to drive the wrong way around St Stephen’s Green. It’s time to admit the Luas is a total failure and invest in a series of sky tubes like they have in the opening credits of Futurama. It would take away the need for cars, it’d be environmentally friendly and while there would be some initial problems with in-tube collisions we could extensively test it using the dregs of society like Sinn Fein money launderers, Ryan Tubridy, anyone who went to the Billy Barry School and RTE rugby commentator Ryle Nugent.
Think how great it would be to zip from Kilmainham to Santry in 5 minutes without traffic lights, cunts not indicating and all the other problems we have when we drive.
Come on Bertie, sort it out now. Sell off Michael McDowell to the IRA in return for the rest of the Northern Bank money and get the first tube up and running before Christmas. Otherwise we might end up with a Taoiseach called Enda.
Luas aside I was reading yesterday about a number of eldery people who were victims of robberies. They’re easy targets, no doubt, but what sort of a cunt do you have to be to batter an eldery person during a robbery? The worst kind of cunt there is, apart from Sinn Fein money launderers, Ryan Tubridy, anyone who went to the Billy Barry School and RTE rugby commentator Ryle Nugent, that’s who.
They could easily just truss them up and steal what they want to steal. There’s no need for them to get violent but the fact that they do makes me angry in a Doctor David Banner ‘don’t make me angry’ type of way.
I think it should be written in law that if you batter an elderly person, and how many times have we seen some poor auld fella/dear in hospital because some cunts robbed him/her of the €63 he had in a jar in his kitchen, you get battered yourself if you get caught. Public beatings are in order - let’s get a big old boxing ring in the middle of Smithfield Market, tie these cunts hands behind their backs, then fucking smash their fucking faces in, the cunts. We could even have a lucky draw where members of the public can administer these beatings wearing boxing gloves with horseshoes in them and when the poxy little cowards are lying on the ground crying like some cunt of an actress on Oscar night then let’s kick their bollocks up and out of their mouths.
Speak to your TD today. Let’s get this plan into action and let’s smash some heads because one day you’re going to be old.
neuro-praxis says:
It wasn’t me that bet your granny, if that’s what you’re implying.
February 22nd, 2005 at 11:31 am
Ian Paisley says:
Send those letters on to me. I completely agree with you, Mr. Major. I will fight til the death to see the public have the legal authority to bash violent muggers to the brink of death.
Unless it was a Catholic granny they beat up. She probably deserved it…praying to the pope and whatnot.
Now for a few rounds of Battleship and Connect4 (with this kit I’ve got you can play both!!) before lunch.
February 22nd, 2005 at 11:35 am
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Tommy says:
I agree, My granny had her arm pulled out of it’s socket for few quid. Never caught the fucker who did it.
Actually here’s an idea, how about giving the homeless free reign to dispense justice to all burglars and scum bag junkies who beat up old folk.The homeless could then be locked up in the joy for a while. This would deal with the two problems,giving the guards and judges a well needed break from their punishing schedule’s. The Td’s could take the credit and everyone would be happy, especially the homeless, who would now have a, eh, home.
I totally disagree with your ludicrous idea of getting rid of cars, who would everyone hate if there were no taxi’s.
February 22nd, 2005 at 1:24 pm
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bluire says:
yeah, bring on the public bashings!!
they could include public apologies to the elder they beat up?
the elder should get the first bash. with a baseball bat or something to help them.
February 22nd, 2005 at 7:25 pm
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barrydublin says:
Billy Barry School, i was wondering what the fuck it was.
February 22nd, 2005 at 8:24 pm
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Keith Gaughan says:
But Inda’s a superhero! I bet he’s out there saving grannies as we type.
Still wouldn’t shag him though…
February 22nd, 2005 at 9:50 pm
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Tommy says:
It’s just occured to me that the poor oap’s are still getting robbed by the goverment while their in hospital. Ignore my previous comment about the td’s getting the credit, shoot the bastards.
February 23rd, 2005 at 12:07 am
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Didihno says:
Although the idea of skytubes really gets me excitied, since you seem to be the voice of the (disgruntled) people, why don’t you start a campaign instead to teach the people of Dublin to fucking well drive properly instead. I mean, are people so gobsmacked by the sheer beauty of the trams that they forget the basics, such as red lights meaning stop?
February 25th, 2005 at 2:30 pm
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