The Panel on RTE 2
Posted in Old blogger by Twenty Major on January 31st, 2005
I don’t tend to watch a lot of telly because I prefer to be social and spend time with my friends doing fun things, like drinking pints, drinking whiskey and eating food from the chipper before falling in the front door and getting to bed before I realise I need to vomit.
But last night, for circumstances I simply cannot reveal, I found myself at home with nothing to do but watch TV. So I saw the news and there was a bit of Spanish football on and you can’t really go wrong with football. Then I turned over to RTE 2 and got caught up in a strange programme called ‘The Panel’.
Basically what happens is the presenter and four others sit around and talk about the events of the week and make jokes and stuff like that. Well, I should clarify that. They sit around and try and be more zany than the last person to talk. The presenter is a big fat man, I don’t know his name, who labours under the assumption that all fat people are jolly and funny. Then there were three men, one of whom looked like Liam Brady (and he was the best of them, making a number of quite good jokes), some cunt from Norn Iron who was about as funny as Frank Carson and Jimmy Cricket’s offspring and another sort of tubby bald bloke wearing a zany shirt because he was so zany only a zany shirt would do just in case you didn’t realise how zany this zany man was.
There was also a woman called Geri Mae who I’ve never heard of either. Should I have heard of her? Does anyone know who she is or what she does? If so please leave a comment and let me know.
So they brought on a couple of guests. Some girl who I’ve never heard of, I think she might be going out with one of the gayers from Westlife, and that curly haired gardener bloke who seemed like a nice fellow and he looked kind of sheepish at being surrounded by such eejits. Now, you can correct me if I’m wrong but I thought comedy shows were supposed to be funny. This show was about as funny as having your eyeballs punctured by hot knitting needles (those one or two gags by Liam Brady apart). Has nobody told them? Can nobody do something about this? Can’t some cunt start a petition? Maybe we could use that fat presenter bloke as food for Tsunami victims. He’d keep most of Indonesia in meat chunks for the rest of the year.
Typical moment: Presenter tells a story about a man being fined for playing the Riverdance CD too loud in his car. Norn Iron cunt goes off on one about how hilarious it would be if he had four tiny children doing Riverdance on a plank of wood in the back seat. ‘That’d really freak the cops out’ he says before going into a spastic head moving version of Riverdance himself. Keep taking the Ritalin you witless pissbag.
Anyway, suffice to say I won’t be watching TV again in a hurry. Thanks, The Panel, for confirming my long-held belief that I’m better of slowly destroying my liver than staying in of an evening.
Anonymous says:
For the record, the fat baldy presenter bloke is one Dara O’Briain, whose name I’ve never bothered learning to spell (so if I’m right it’s a fluke). As far as I can tell, he seems to make a living telling crap jokes and then laughing at them louder than the audience does. He also used to host a hideous show called “Family Affair” or something like that, which was much less incestuous than the title would suggest.
As for Geri Mae, she hosts some morning TV show for insomniac drug addicts (or possibly children) with an alien sock monster. Her ‘rents own a shop across the road from the train station in Limerick (it was a very, very slow stalking day - the only options were Peter Clohessy and that one off Pop Stars).
January 31st, 2005 at 12:27 pm
Twenty Major says:
And I’d say that cunt snacks on gondoleers between meals, the non-Milky Way eating behemoth.
January 31st, 2005 at 12:27 pm
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Mister Whiskers says:
I am going to spend tomorrow calling everyone I meet a witless pissbag, because that is just sheer class.
I thought Cillian Murphy was that bloke out of 28 Days Later, wasn’t he? Although I could be getting my Cillians all in a tangle…
January 31st, 2005 at 9:58 pm
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Keith Gaughan says:
Ah yes, Geri Maye: I’d ride her.
January 31st, 2005 at 10:29 pm
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Anonymous says:
Not that anyone really gives a toss, but it’s Colin Murphy.
February 1st, 2005 at 9:57 am
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Anonymous says:
isn’t Geri Mae married to Ray D’arcy or some other ex-Den TV presenter. i bet she’s a closet crack addict. far too fuckin smiley for my liking.
Colin Murphy isnt too bad but that Dara O’Briain is a big fat southside cuntbag.
burn them, burn them all!!
February 2nd, 2005 at 6:00 pm
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THE BUSMAN aka Alexander Wright says:
Going some way to alieviate your annoyance and frustration at the monolithic quantity of fucking shit they transmit over the airwaves and, have the nerve to call entertainment, do as I have done for the past ten years: DON’T BUY A TV LICENCE. They can shove that up thier fucking mast.
God bless.
February 2nd, 2005 at 10:35 pm
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Anonymous says:
Colin Murphy hosts “the Blizzard of Odd” - which, older readers might remember, is a rip off of Channel 4’s “Vidz”. Only Colin Murphy isn’t allowed say “cunt”
February 11th, 2005 at 1:59 pm
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Johnny5 says:
Difference being, Vidz was original and very funny.
The fat blokes name is Dara O’Briain who will soon be plying his trade on “celebrity Stars in your eyes” and I love 2006. Basically he’s an unfunny cunt, that is just slightly funnier than the rest of the unfunny nobodies on that show.
February 23rd, 2005 at 4:41 pm
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Anonymous says:
Da panel rocks..what is life without dara and colin& all of dem…best programme ever!
October 3rd, 2005 at 8:29 pm
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Anonymous says:
Ok back off! The panel is funnier than any of you guys. I bet you think the whole using “cunt” word is what? Cool? PAck of nobodies who have noting better to do. did your mummies not give ye enough hugs!!
October 11th, 2005 at 2:20 pm
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Anonymous says:
Man you stupid piss bags, you say you have a social life you twat? what fucking eejit would think anyone one would give a shit about your opinion? your a fucking twat who probably has no social life but likes to pretend he does. Oh and i bet your a fucking D4 tosser aswell!
October 24th, 2005 at 11:02 pm
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Anonymous says:
I’m sorry ye all sound like misinformed uneducated gobshites who will dedicate a whole rant about a quality show and waffle on about people who’s names you can’t prononounce or even bother to get right, eg Cillian Murphy ye gobshites, its Colin, which thankfully somebody has pointed out already. I cannot help but sense jealousy as ye attempt to shame and mock these comedians, who i believe as do the thousands who tune in to watch their show every week that this is quite possibly the funniest show on television!!! Now i know your just going to reply with many “cunt” words and “fucks” and “shits” but at least i have the peace of mind that nobody is going to read your blog anyway.. You also have the peace of mind that no waster is going to write about how unfunny you are.. because who the fuck cares about you!!!
October 26th, 2005 at 9:17 am
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Twenty Major says:
heh, I see the cast of the Panel has been dropping by.
October 30th, 2005 at 2:05 pm
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Anonymous says:
The panel is one of theses shows that I knew has been on for a while but never watch because I thought it would be a bit shit, be a few people gold me it was very and one even said it was the best thing on all week. Well I watched it last night and I have to change my view from a bit shit to completely sit, what a waste of time another disaster from rte trying to rip off from another program. The show is basically a presenter and four comedians(not very good ones) trying to oust each other with witty one-liners and shit jokes that go completely off whatever topic was been raised, what is comes down to is these blokes just love hearing their own voice and use any opportunity they can. Not funny
November 1st, 2005 at 12:20 pm
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Anonymous says:
Maybe if they put your comment on the screen, people might laugh… you cant spell you dumbass.. think before you type then someone might take your ridiculous view seriously..
November 2nd, 2005 at 6:49 pm
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Panel Lover says:
Maybe if they put your comment on the screen, people might laugh… you cant spell you dumbass.. think before you type then someone might take your ridiculous view seriously..
November 2nd, 2005 at 6:52 pm
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Twenty Major says:
Dumbass? Surely you can do better than that, The Panel panelist. I mean ‘panel lover’.
November 2nd, 2005 at 7:04 pm
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Anonymous says:
Bullshit. Its the best show on irish television. Just caus some of ye enjoy watchn the feckn late late show
November 8th, 2005 at 3:31 pm
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Dr. Gonzo says:
The cast of the panal definately seem to have found their way in here…who else would be arsed to defend them so passionately??
Twenty I really like idea of you going on the show to wipe the floor with the unfunny bunch of witless pissbags..
January 20th, 2006 at 10:27 am
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Lumphead Wrasse says:
Anonymous seems to use the phrase ‘ye’ quite a bit. This fact together with his questionable desire to defend this mediocre show, suggests that he is a person who resides outside the Dublin area. This certainly is a show pointed at an unsophisticated audience or those whose sense of humour is a little less sharpened. Maybe its the country air??
January 25th, 2006 at 10:47 am
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Anonymous says:
I do find it amusing that someone as unfunny as yourself would suggest the country folk are unsophisticated and whose sense of humour is a little less sharpened.This coming form a group of people who beleive that Dara O’Briain is a big fat southside cuntbag.
Maybe its the city air??
By the way, you all come across as pretty pathetic.
March 8th, 2006 at 11:04 am
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Anonymous says:
god fuck you and your ‘norn iron’ jibes. its people like you that make it so hard to get equality and peace in this country, twat.
June 26th, 2006 at 2:42 pm
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Anonymous says:
hello i just had to write in afer i read those horrible comments about the panel. the panel is great dara o’ brian is great too and i think it’s quit mean that you bring his weight into the disscussion because it really does not matter, i saw him live and he was great. that’s all i have to say except that andrew maxwell is the greatest of them all and why has nobody mentioned him??
July 1st, 2006 at 9:32 pm
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Anonymous says:
i’m sensing a little bit of jealousy here. just because you idiots can only get your views heard through a rubbish review that rely’s on a ridiculous amount of curse words to get laughs and even attention, it doesnt mean that you have to take it out on the panel, a freakin brilliant show with some of the best comedians ireland has to offer. and so what if the guests arent brilliant? so what if its not parky? you’ll answer more obscure pub quiz questions on these people than you would on someone shallow and useless like billy connelly (thats right i DONT like billy connelly). and NO i am not from he cast of the panel, i’m just one person from the majority who loves the freakin show ye’s arseholes!
ps leave dara o’brien alone, you must think you are so funny and original to make fun of his weight, cos that’s not a really pathetic and childish thing to do. how old are you, 12?
November 28th, 2006 at 2:28 pm
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shiteJune 9th, 2008 at 5:44 pm
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