Carol Singers and Christmas shopping
Posted in Old blogger by Twenty Major on December 18th, 2004
I am going into town now to do some Christmas shopping. Grafton Street is my destination.
I wonder if there’ll be Carol singers and if so I wonder if they’ll be Irish or will they, following a recent trend in most other service industries, have been replaced by swathes of Chinese people.
We wish you a melly clissmas but as new year not for many weeks we not say anything about tha’ ok?
It does get a bit annoying though at this time. The city centre is busy enough without do-gooders rattling change boxes under my seasonally red nose. Yes, I know the price of a pint would feed a starving donkey/child/refugee for 12 years but you know what? I’d prefer the pint, thanks. Now piss off.
Then there are the queues. Last year I rememeber queueing in one particular shop for about 15 minutes. Yes, there were a lot of people but the shop in question appeared to have imported its workers from some asylum or special school somewhere. Each transaction took them ages. Anyway, we were standing, patiently waiting, until one woman, who saw queueing with plebs as being way below her station, decided she’d march to the front and get served first.
Irish people being the courteous, kind and lily-livered sort that they are stood aghast at the cheek, whispering “Ooooh, did you see that?” But not one of them would say a word to her. It was time to stand up for the rights of my fellow queuers. I cleared my throat, scratched my arse then bellowed “OI! THERE’S A FUCKING QUEUE HERE YOU OLD CUNT. GET TO THE BACK OF IT OR FUCK OFF!”
I love sharing the Christmas spirit with my fellow Dubs.
Scaryduck says:
Christmas shopping is for cunts, and is the reason they invented the intermaweb.
Mrs Duck’s getting a box of Turkish Delight and liking it.
December 18th, 2004 at 4:44 pm
Scaryduck says:
Unfortunately, Turkish Delight is not a euphamism for some sort of sexual deviancy. Bah.
December 18th, 2004 at 4:45 pm
1
miffylovespete says:
Hi, I was flicking through some random blogs and passed one person pretending to be a jar of marmite! I mean if I wanted to talk to marmite I would go to Tescos and then I found this. Better than cabbage you say….well it certainly is. I must admit I share alot of ur views which is wierd coz I’m 13….that makes me a teenage git…I thought you had to
A-be morrisy
B-be over 40
to be one of these but obviously not….my address is
http://www.asleepingpeter.blogspot.com if you want some form of conversation…
December 18th, 2004 at 4:58 pm
2
planetpotato says:
What pisses me off is the hordes of orange jacketed young ones selling random charity subscriptions that you have to wade through down town. Look anything like you have money (i.e. not wearing a tracksuit) and you’ll find a Tiffany or an Eric jumping in front of you wondering whether you’d sign up to the “Royal society for the prevention of cruelty to muppets”. It almost distracts me from my poking slow moving old people in the back with an umbrella.
December 18th, 2004 at 8:02 pm
3
Anonymous says:
Ducky, what about the santas that are advertising fastfood places, LIKE PANS PLACE!!! Twice this week I have spotted santas that are bright yellow and are scary bastards, but here in Paris, they are called fucking yellow Papa Noels: yellow papa Noels…I fucking ask you!
December 18th, 2004 at 11:51 pm
4
Mosher says:
OK, what I don’t get is this. What time of year do people tend to have less money than any other? This time, cos they’re spending a fortune on bloody presents and cards.
So why do the scroungers decide to start hitting me with more and more begging letters and tossers with collection buckets right now? I’m skint! FUCK OFF!
Ask me in the summer when I’m not too busy dodging crowds to tell you to get the fuck out of my way and stop asking me for my fucking money. Cunts.
December 19th, 2004 at 11:45 am
5