Cork SMS pervert and political injuries
Posted in Old blogger by Twenty Major on October 21st, 2004
A man in County Cork has been given a 12 month suspended jail sentence for sending offensive text messages to various women all around Ireland.
Twenty Major has an exclusive transcript of some of them:
Perv: im gn 2 ks u
Victim: What?
Perv: I sd im gn 2 ks u & den lck ur ars
Victim: Is this some kind of code?
Perv: Bnd ovr n sk my hge rod u drty btch
Victim: If you’re attempting to dispatch some kind of missive to which I am expected to respond, I suggest you make use of a dictionary for you are as erudite and intelligible as a farmyard beast or a Government minister.
The presiding Judge said the man’s messages were “vulgar, obscene, and grossly offensive“. And that’s the just the way they were written.
Elsewhere I see Fidel Castro has broken his arm after a fall. He may have broken his kneecap too. It put me in mind of other famous political injuries.
In 1984 Margaret Thatcher dislocated her quim during an Anglo-Irish conference. Garret Fitzgerald helped her put it back in place.
In 1989, whilst preparing his Presidential campaign, Brian Lenihan woke up to discover the bolt from his neck was missing.
Nobody was shocked when Doctor Ian Paisley grew up to be an enormous cunt.
Former US President Jimmy Carter once farted and followed through during a debate on live television. The previous night’s curry and peanut wine scorched the shape of Che Guevara onto the back of his thigh.
Finally Mahatma Ghandi had a rectal polyp with foot long tentacles which caught and devoured fish like a sea anenome whenever he went swimming. He was barred from the Delhi Hilton after his arse tried to consume the four year old son of the British ambassador.
Scaryduck says:
Speaking as someone who has met Paisley, your description of him is 100% accurate.
October 21st, 2004 at 1:11 pm
Twenty Major says:
He appears to be shrinking somewhat now though. Which is good.
October 21st, 2004 at 2:49 pm
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Scaryduck says:
Another five years and he’ll be small enough to stamp on.
October 21st, 2004 at 3:25 pm
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Twenty Major says:
With any luck he won’t last that long.
The enormous cunt.
October 21st, 2004 at 3:54 pm
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Ruairi says:
If Paisely goes then people who do not have the talents of imitations will only be left with Michael Caine and Frank Bruno as possible party pieces.
As if Irish people sit in their living rooms with the whole inbred parish gathered around drinking tea (approx 85 cups) and eating a mountain of fairy cakes (who said we had a famine) and salad sandwiches (egg and onion)yelping tapping their foot to the sound of a reel and some ancient ancestorial dinosaur (wearing a pearl necklace) singing for their party piece any more.
October 26th, 2004 at 3:14 pm
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